Sex life after a baby

[Megs4]

Hi. Help. My partner and I used to be so passionate and intimate. We had a baby that is now 8 months and of course, the intimacy is not always there. Mum (27) dad (29). My partner is always bringing it up and constantly mentioning how he does not feel wanted or loved. He is very much loved, I adore him, just sex is the last thing on my mind lately. Life is so consuming since having a baby, I suffer with depression so currently on medication also. I constantly feel tired and there is always something to do. He works long hours at work so we barely get time together and when we do, I really value our time like cuddling or just watching something together, when we don't do that, baby is being seen to. I feel like I'm sinking because I want him to be happy always but I feel I'm letting us down. How do I get back into it? How do we become intimate again. Since having a baby, it took a long time for my body to heal and my confidence is very low, which doesn’t help. I know he wont go elsewhere for it but I don't want the relationship to fail because of this. Please help, I need advice.

A night away in a hotel without the baby usually does the trick. Get some sexy undies and buy some lube just incase your body isn't in the mood. Good luck.

You need your libido to return before you can even think about wanting sex with him. Do you have any sexual desire atm? I certainly didn’t at your stage. Plus depression and antidepressants won’t be helping there either. Can you explain that you love him but need lots of cuddles without sex at this stage?

Hey, I’m almost 7 months postpartum with baby number two and totally get it, babies are demanding little things (throw in a toddler for good luck 😂).

It resonates with me when you say there’s always something to do. If you want to reinvigorate your sex life, you need to make it a priority (not the priority of course!) If you get to the end of the day and you’re cleaning the kitchen or wanting to prep weaning meals etc maybe just push that into the next day and use that time to spark some intimacy. When you have little ones it’s hard for the right moment to just naturally arise, you have to chase it.

The other thing that worked wonders for us was buying some toys. I went searching on lovehoney and found some simple bits (lingerie, a massage tool (not a wand, actually for massages!), a toy for him (a blow job enhancer) and a vibrating cock ring for us both. DH was really excited when they arrived (I hadn’t told him) and we’ve never really used toys between us so it stirred up a bit of excitement and anticipation.

Once you get back into the swing of things it just kind of picks back up naturally.