Left wanting…

[MorvernCallous]

Just been in a date…. Everything went so well, our third date, really thought sex was in cards. We even spoke about it! I have a hotel room (out of town) and he’s bloody turned me down. I bought sexy lingerie, shaved things… he’s declared tiredness. So gutted!

That's the first I've heard of a man thinking a woman is "too sexual". You clearly aren't compatible. The vast majority of men would be thrilled and speeding to the Premier Inn!

TBF women are constantly told on this forum not to have sex if they don’t want to , and this guy clearly got cold feet or was uneasy or was suffering from performance anxiety- or any of a million other reasons or saying no - which is absolutely his choice.
your choice is to carry on or not ( probably not)

Really, I’ve met some very sexual women in the past, maybe this guy was lacking in the self esteem or confidence side - or was worrying about his performance or appearance or any of a million other things

dodged one there , is he married ?

@BeAppleNow well I definitely agree that obviously noone should be having sex they don't want or don't feel ready for. I am also probably operating from stereotypes where me n generally have a higher sex drive or are are usually more willing than women to have sex at an earlier stage of the relationship. I guess because before I was married I was beating them off with sticks and my DH still has a very high sex drive - but we are pretty equally matched. Of course some women will have a higher sex drive than some men.

Also, sadly sometimes people just don't 'fancy' one another. That's no criticism of the original poster, but not every lid fits every pot, if you see what I mean. At least you've found out before investing too much time in the situation.

A woman friend of mine is, shall we say, somewhat 'assertive' in making her desires known to men she finds attractive. She tells me that a surprisingly large proportion of them turn out to be shrinking violets. They discover urgent appointments elsewhere, sports and recreational committments, or indeed 'tiredness' - it's amazing how men can quickly be overcome with fatigue in the face of prospective intimacy.

It's just part of life's rich tapestry. I'm sure there'll be other opportunities in the future with people who're genuinely enthusiastic and appreciative of the OP!

I think it’s just rude that the op booked a room due to what they discussed prior to this. I do feel she was led on.

Nerves or he’s unsure perhaps?

Is it harsh to make the famous Sex and the City suggestion: He’s just not that into you?

It’s a shame that you went to the effort and feel let down now, but better that he didn’t let it progress to a sexual relationship and then ghost you, isn’t it?

I hope to be proved wrong.

Yes, at least this time it's just a hotel room. Some people go through whole weddings and then decide they don't want to be with their spouse, or never really fancied them anyway. I've had this sort of thing happen to me, and looking back it was probably a lucky escape.