It's been a long time.....

[Jokethecoalwoman]

I haven't had sex for a very very long time (sexless relationship before splitting up) but I've met someone, had a few dates and we've arranged to spend the night together next week.

I am so nervous! About all sorts of things. Firstly - smells. What if I smell? What if he smells?!!!! And no one has seen my post childbirth fanny in a long time and those were not easy births! (Tears etc ) I also have large labia which I'm self conscious about.

I really want to go for it and be liberated and sexual and feel empowered....but I just keep thinking "what if he has a smelly dick and I can't do it?" and thoughts like that!

Any advice would be great!

As a man, if you were seriously contemplating intimacy with me, I’d hope we’d reached the point where we could chat through these concerns together…..I’d probably have some too…..this should be a lovely time for us both…. Talk to him. x

Indeed, talk to him. He's got the same concerns, but probably hides it under his male ego...

Genitals have a natural smell. If you have good personal hygiene and no health concerns, there shouldn't be "a bad smell". If you have a reason to be concerned about your smell, that may be a sign of something you need to address. The same goes for your partner.

That said, what if you have fabulous sex? What if he loves your fanny? What if you both taste delicious?

You can always suggest a shower first?

It will be lovely. You like him, he likes you, presumably you've kissed and felt interested ... There's more to both of you than just your bodies, and that connection is going to make your bodies feel really good.

Personally, I had sex after 3 1/2 years of no sex and couldn't bloody wait 😂

Thanks for your replies. I know it's just nerves - I might pop back on here with an update after!

If you like him I would just got for it!

Personally I can't imagine for a second having a sit-down beforehand and chatting through smelly genitals or labia size but maybe I'm out of touch.

I hope everything went okay for you! Men go through similar thoughts. Am I big enough, do I smell, am I too hairy. We are all in the same boat. 😊

Thanks everyone. Yes it was fine! Much less terrifying than I thought!

Ah good, hope you're doing it again 😁

I recently had sex after a few years of none, preceded by several years with one partner. I was terrified but he was a lovely man and it was great! None of the things I was worried about ( bits of me not working, the state of my body etc were an issue at all). Go for it and enjoy