(Sort of) sexting mishap

[maxiemouslady]

A while back I realised, if that’s the right word, that I’m probably bi and have been trying to dip my toe into it a bit but not quite being brave enough. Anyway, I’ve been part of a running group for a while and got friendly with a newcomer, chatted a lot and (so I thought) flirted a fair bit. We were swapping some messages at the weekend and she was complimenting me on how nice I looked in my running shorts at park run that day…think Nike Pro but they’re actually from Decathlon (I’m not made of money!), what a nice figure I had, how she wishes her bum looked like mine, along those lines. Then she said they’re very tight and must be tricky get off by yourself with a smiling face emoji (🙂). I replied along the lines of help is always appreciated, especially in the shower where I’m off to now and then (as it turns out) entirely misread the situation with a poorly chosen follow up message of “😉💦😉”

Long story short I now need to move to the moon and never see any people ever again.

That sounds like a perfect trajectory, rather than mishap?

How did you know you misread the situation? It sounded flirty so not surprising you thought that. Did they object to your last message?

So much this.

Oh no what did she say? I would have misinterpreted too based on what you’ve written. Can’t you just apologise and move on? No harm done

I was expecting something a lot worse than this. And l have done a lot worse than this.

Depending on how recent it was, either follow up with a laughing emoji or just let it go. I would call the conversation no more than flirty and you could pass it off s a joke. Or, maybe she will respond with more.

She basically said I think you’ve got the wrong idea and she’s not into women, but in a slightly more gentle way!

I just feel a bit silly as I put myself out there a bit (this has all been baby steps for me) and got it wrong.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

"Ah my mistake. Thanks for letting me know so kindly"

Maybe she was also dipping her toe in to a new relationship pool.
Then she got cold feet when you took her up on it. Maybe I should change my name to mixed metaphor!
Recently I have had an invitation from a woman who I have become friendly with. I am considering accepting. Interesting stage isn't it @maxiemouslady

@maxiemouslady, I think you could go back and try to chat her up by reassuring her. She initiated the txt exchange so she must have had those thoughts about your bum under those shorts. Maybe she is feeling embarrassed over what she started. I think there is scope for a conversation over a coffee, you explain how your feelings have developed, tell her your thoughts. She will listen if you play it gently.

I'd agree that she, too, is trying something to see whether she enjoys it...but would let her make the next move, rather than the OP following up. Or that might be my timidity!

@JoyousMaker , perhaps not your timidity, more likely a man trying to lever his way into a woman to woman topic.

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I actually agree with him. I think OP should try to continue the friendship as before and if any moves are to be made, it should be from the other person, otherwise it could potentially be seen as unwanted attention and cause all sorts of other issues.

@JTRSOP At about 06:50 I did post that IMO she should continue.
In a straight relationship it is usually the man who is quicker off the mark, so the woman reacts to the male approach.

In a F to F first encounter often both wait for the other to move. Progress is therefore slow. Someone has to open the bidding.
In this case as Maxie wrote I would have taken the others txt as an invitation especially as it was more than one txt. How would you react?

I’m not sure I’m brave enough to invite her for a coffee now! I agree it’s an interesting stage but it’s really knocked my confidence and that’s unlike me. I’ll see her next week at the running group I think so will try and judge the situation.

How is your situation shaping up?

As for your metaphors…maybe the pool was cold so her feet got cold?! 😂

Own it.
You fancy her and regardless of if she feels the same there is nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
I've had male acquaintances hit on me in the distant past and even though I am not interested in men it still made me feel good and gave me a boost to my confidence. It also didnt effect my friendship with them at all.

Don’t die wondering. Lol. Better to have fought and lost etc.

Curious to know what the responses would have been if you were a man sending that text to a women….

🤔

@Dolphinrock It wasn’t though was it!

In my experience sexting with men quickly descends into “send a pic”.