Don't know what im asking really or what im looking for.

[Honestlyonlyplease]

Hey
Im a 34 married women with 3 kids. My life doesn't feel right anymore. I was quite happy with being a wife and mum having plain sex but something has changed this year. For reasons I dont know.

I started to dress differently. So showing my legs and low cut tops etc wearing make up making my hair look nice too. I enjoy when I catch a man looking at me. I enjoy fantasies about men i come across in my day to day life. I dream about the great sex we would have. I often wonder if they would say yes if I.asked them if they wanted to have no strings sex ( not that I would be brave enough to ask)

I want.to feel sexually attractive..I want to know. if men still see me that way.

Like I.said I have no idea what I.want apart from just writing it down I suppose

I don't have any great words of advice I'm afraid, but as a mid 40s year old guy I feel very similar.

I always thought things would improve as the kids got older and I kept being the best husband and father I could be, and while I have a happy marriage and family (lots of fun and laughs, supporting one another, doing things as a whole and as a couple), over time I've started to wonder whether I've ever been truly physically attractive to anyone. Part of me feels that shouldn't matter but it still eats away at you, perhaps because there is so much focus on all that in media and advertising.

So that's a long winded way of saying you aren't alone, and I'll be watching the thread with interest too.

Just be confident in who you are.

Pays dividends

Im slightly older than you OP (late 30's) and am feeling the same. I have absolutley no idea what its about! I have a wonderful husband and marriage but also want to know that im still attractive to other men. I would never do anything just maybe looking for a confidence boost. I have been thinking its possibly an age thing, im hurtling towards 40 and almost feel like im coming up to my attractiveness expiry date. One thing these feelings have made me do is take a lot more care in my appearance which I am really grateful for. I love doing my skincare, hair and makeup, my husband seems to appreciate it but then also complains that I spend too much time on it!

Does your husband still make you feel attractive?
Does he still notice you as more than a wife, mother, maid?

I think, it's the attention that you're craving, which I am only assuming you're not getting much of it at home, but at the same time, having attention from other people and being noticed does feel nice.

If you were ten years older then I’d say you were noticing the hormone changes of peri-menopause/menopause as that is exactly what happened to me - I started to dress differently and, actively, craved attention. I was horny as hell too (for well over two years ). I was, however, living in a sexless marriage (many years like this) so had no release. I think, deep down, I was unfulfilled and, trying to be a good person, I lived with it. I was living with someone (and has married in my early 20’s with no experience of anyone else) who was very poor, sexually, and very cold, emotionally. There was no passion in our marriage. No hugs, no hand-holding, nothing.

I ended my marriage after getting involved with someone else - I couldn’t fight my feelings anymore.

However, you’re probably not anywhere near menopause but it does sound like you’re finding the relationship unfulfilling. Is there anything you can do to improve things? Have things changed since the early days (in terms of sexually)? Are you in love with him? For me, I definitely felt different. But, hormones were playing a big part in my feelings BUT it made me realise, as clear as day, that I was living in, not only a sexless marriage, but also one devoid of any form of affection/intimacy. As a passionate woman, it was regret at not saying something earlier that sticks with me.

You need to improve things at home or end the relationship.

As the PP says, some women do have experiences like yours during menopause, and it's important to remember it CAN start in your 30s.
What you're feeling might well just be psychological and symptomatic of your domestic situation - having to look after 3 kids could leave anyone wondering if there should be more - but look out for other changes that might point to hormonal changes - there is help available if you need it.
Or maybe just go on date-nights with your DH. Maybe he's in a similar place and this could be an opportunity for you both to reconnect.