Sex after kids

[EllaWinstp]

Hi All - am 38 . Our kids are 3 and 5. And our previously healthy sex life is down the drain. We are tired of course with the kids and two big jobs but we have intimacy and we like each other still . Its just the sex. On my part it is painful and just daunting and I think my husband is just too tired to try making an effort. I find it hard to get him to open up about this which is strange because we get along really well and share openly everything else. How do I get out of this rut? Is this normal? Any experience will be welcome! Thank you

Could you not get away for a weekend together, just the two of you?

For me the first step would be addressing the pain. I’m sure you are but no wonder it’s daunting for you.

You should not be in pain.
Have you been to a doctor/specialist? Did you have any birth-related complications that could have caused this? You don't have to answer these questions here, just think about them.

The situation between you and your husband is uncomfortable, but it can wait. The first priority is making sure your body is well. There's no point in working on a healthy sex life with your husband if you keep hurting every time. That won't do anyone any good.