Im always horny and hard and it annoying me

[Notoriouslypersistant]

Was sexually abused as a child by older women and aunties from age of 6 but now im an addict and wife is very understanding but bless her she helps 3tomes a day and now she wants me to meet another lady or ladies as she is getting fed up. I need help but don't know where to start

I'm so sorry that you went through all that. Hypersexuality can be a side affect of that as it's a way for victims to take control of their bodies

Im 41 and have sex atleast 3times a day and has got me cheating and wife now wanys another woman to join. I feel disgusted with myself

Hold on, you’re running all your words together and I’m trying to understand.

When you say you have sex three times a day….is that with your wife?

Or is it with people other than your wife?

When you say “wife now wants another woman to join “… do you mean she wants a woman to become a semi permanent or permanent third party in the relationship? Would this additional woman (if you could find her!) take part it continuous threesomes with you and your wife, or wild your wife expect that you would have alone time with this new woman?

More questions with these later points...

Is your wife happy at the idea of frequent sex and involving someone else, or is she doing it mainly for you?

Either way, does she understand that your sexuality is like this in spite of yourself?

If through a change (eg therapy) your sexuality changed, would she accept the less highly sexed you?

"Aunties" is a term used by some cultures to refer to older women you're not related to. Is this how you're using it?

Have you had counselling for your abuse and addiction?
Addiction takes good people to bad places and you owe it to both yourself and those around you to seek help.

NHS mental health services are, by all accounts, over stretched and waiting lists can be long, but it won't do any harm to start that ball rolling by talking to your GP if you've not already.
Alternatively, try contacting Sex Addicts Anonymous. At the very least, they should be able to tell you where you can get support.

Good luck!

No not continuous 3some but would like to be present. 3times with her and can go upto 7 times including another woman.
She feels like its too much for do it alone so many times

You need more than mumsnet's advice. Namely psychological support.

From your description, it doesn't sound like your wife enjoys that sex life - she accepts it, wants more control, but if the choice was between involving another woman or you having less sex, she would choose the second.

You've talked as if you don't like this sex life, so if neither of you enjoys it, then you should do something else.

Btw, not important but what you're describing doesn't sound like threesomes to me. You're talking about you having sex with two people.