Medical student knowingly risked giving my daughter an STD

[babblington]

Hi! My daughter and I have been struggling to come to a decision about this and would really appreciate any advice! My daughter was dating a second year medical student that she met on a dating app from August - September. They had become exclusive and things were going really well until he called her one night to tell her that he had tested positive for chlamydia. He then told her that he had been told in May that he needed to get tested as his one of his previous sexual partner’s sexual partner had tested positive. He then allegedly just forgot to get tested and only remembered when he was getting ready for their first date. They first slept together in August and it wasn’t until September that he decided to order a home STD test. He then told his friends that he was worried he had it but proceeded to keep sleeping with my daughter for the following two weeks that it took for him to take the test and receive the results. During these two weeks my daughter started experiencing symptoms such as painful urination and told him about these, jokingly asking him if he knew what could be causing it as he was a medical student. Even at this point, he still withheld from her any mention of his high risk of having an STD. He then did call her to tell her when he tested positive but quickly broke up with her when she asked him if it was the girl he slept with that tested positive or her sexual partner and if he had told his friends a while ago that he was worried he had it. He ended contact with her on account of her “asking too many personal questions” and has no idea if she is okay/ tested positive or not. The clinic that she had to go to is part of the hospital where he is undertaking his medical training. This happened about a month ago now so we have taken some time to think about this situation and are still unsure on whether or not we should report this to his medical school. We wouldn’t want him to risk being kicked out but we do think he needs to learn from this situation so that he doesn’t do anything like this again. Do you guys think we should report it?

I think you should report it. Integrity is an important part of being a doctor and this shows a lack of both integrity and honesty.

What a horrible guy

This. What ever happened to, “first, do not harm”? I know she’s not a patient, but good Lord! You know your former partner has an STI and you hide it/“forget”? And “don’t want to answer any personal questions”? He’s a POS who sounds like he is incapable of being empathic to others.

Report to whom? And what are you going to say?

My adult daughter has contracted a common STD and she thinks a student at your medical school gave it to her in a consensual relationship.

Are you serious?

I assume when they respond

1. What business is that if theirs?;
2. What business is that of yours?;
3. How do you know for certain he gave her the STD?
4. You know we don’t involve ourselves in the private lives of our students?
5. the majority of sexually active adults have or will have chlamydia at some stage
6. whilst hugely annoying to your daughter, being an asshole is not a crime (yet)

you’ll have your answers well prepared.

Speak for yourself—I’ve never had chlamydia!

You most likely wouldn’t know if you did.

No absolutely don't report this. It is no business of the medical school or of yours.
In the great scheme of things, it is a treatable STI.
It has been picked up and dealt with.
All of them can learn from this.

Absolutely dick move.

Put it down to a life lesson. Get her healthy again and move on.

We wouldn’t want him to risk being kicked out but we do think he needs to learn from this situation so that he doesn’t do anything like this again.

Do you think his school is his mum, about to give him a parent sit down chat about honesty or something then? 🙄

Medical school isn’t the same as other further education as they are training future doctors.

Dcotors and trainee doctors should know and act better than this. Integrity is a key quality for doctors.

Fully qualified doctors have been struck off for less, like hiding money in bank accounts to avoid child care costs.

Yes but OP saying they don't want him kicked off... Of course that's what they're after here.

Bartoz

the majority of sexually active adults have or will have chlamydia at some stage

And your evidence for this is?

I wouldn’t report him. I would be speaking to my daughter about making sure she doesn’t have sex with anyone not wearing a condom.

Is there a specific code of conduct that medical students need to uphold, that's different from other fields of education?
Which country are you posting from? I can't imagine a university kicking someone out or reprimanding a student for something they did on their own time, in their private life, unrelated to their studies. Unless it was a crime.

The guy's an absolute shithead. We can all agree to that. But universities are here to determine whether he's qualified and capable of being in his chosen field, not whether he's a decent human being 24/7.

I do agree with previous posters. Your first priority should be helping your daughter figure out why she agreed to having unprotected sex with a guy she barely knew. He may be a shithead, but your daughter was naive and negligent herself.

Life experience.