Difficult sex situation

[Jasonp86]

Hey, I’m 34 and have a partner of 13 years and we have a 6yr old together.
I have a really really high sex drive, recently my partner just doesn’t seem that interested. I’m quite large and girthy and cum a lot so when I finish I feel an instant high, release and de-stressed and this will last all day but when I don’t cum it builds up and makes me feel miserable.
my partners gone through phases where penetrating her hurts her, which is fine I would never want her in pain and especially for my pleasure and I can understand how this is putting her off wanting to have sex but I’m struggling with the lack of intimacy when I feel like I could easily have sex or engage in some sort of activity at least once a day.
does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this? I love her to pieces but Is it just a long term relationship dying out or can it be fixed? Thank you

Unfortunately, it’s either you accept it; or don’t, and leave. You have to think if you can see yourself living like that for the rest of your life, never having sex again. Can you? I couldn’t, and I know what I would do. I do know how hard this is to do in reality, it’s not as easy as just leaving.

Would she agree to an open relationship? It’s not the perfect solution, but it’s an option perhaps.

My husband is similar to your wife, although it’s not because of pain, he just can’t be bothered. I’ve told him very clearly how I feel about it, it improves for a bit and then trails off again. Not bad enough for me to make tough choices yet, but I feel one day I will have to.

Thank you for your reply, it’s not easy at all, I love her as a person but sexually I’m not happy at all and it’s affecting other areas of my life and I don’t want to keep trying to talk to her about it because she gets really defensive and it’s pushing her away.

she can get quite jealous so I don’t think an open relationship would be possible, it’s a really rubbish situation and I can’t go forever without having sex, even the very few times we have sex it’s not the sex I’m craving

I think rather than almost asking permission to leave on a mumsnet sex forum (!) you would be better off having counselling (alone and relationship). It’s a huge decision that will obviously have an (unknown) impact on your child, who has no say in this.

@Jasonp86 with the greatest respect, you don’t seem to have taken in what I and others have suggested, your subsequent posts have all been about your needs and not hers.

what about doing things to her that means HER feel amazing?
what about giving her the sex SHE craves when you do have sex?
you talk about how miserable a lack of sex makes you feel, which I do get and I sympathise with, but have you considered that maybe she isn’t happy with the relationship either and there are other things outside of sex you need to work on in order to bring you closer physically?