Too shattered for sex!

[lifeonthelane]

DH and I have been married for 11 years, 2 primary age kids. We are still very much in love and find each other attractive.

We both work full time - he does shift work and I have a job which is semi-flexible, meaning I can be quite present for the children then catch up after they have gone to bed.

Due to our conflicting schedules, we barely see each other and sex is SO rare nowadays! When we do see each other, we're exhausted from the drudgery of daily life and I fall asleep on the sofa very early on evenings I don't need to work.

We're both quite open with each other and want to reignite the spark - any suggestions!?

(We do have some limited family support for babysitting BUT are careful about finances, are paying off some debt and can't justify meals out etc)

Relationships take work.
Satisfying sex lives take work.
You've added kids to that mix and, guess what ... they're hard work.

That said, you can be a brilliant parent and make time for your partner and for yourself. You just have to make that a priority, in the same way that you do with the laundry or jobs or the gym.
If you have family support, that's all you need and, if your kids get used to spending time with other people and see their parents in a loving, affectionate, tactile relationship, they will be better equipped to build their own relationships.
You and your DH owe it to your kids to make time to have a good sex life.

(Failing that, check out the Sexless Marriage thread. 🤣)

We are in a similar life stage to you and have accepted we have less sex but good quality sex. We are both exhausted by the time kids are in bed and so it doesn’t happen in the evening. Can you and OH have some daytime dates if he is a shift worker? They can be free! We normally either go for a run or back to bed 😂

we also know and enjoy that each other masturbates whenever the opportunity is available.

I know its difficult to fit sex in when your both working full time and kids. We have alot less sex these days. But eventually when we do have time for a date night it is quality sex as we make the most of each other which is the main thing xx

Hi op thought you’d get more replies than this as I think it’s something that affects a lot of couples. We are at the same stage as you too. We found that weekend morning quickies tick us over nicely to the extent that it’s added a new dimension to our repertoire.

if you’re struggling Karen Gurney has a book about not letting kids ruin your sex life. I’ve got it to listen to on audible but ironically haven’t yet found the time!!