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It seems one sided

11 replies

Teddyswims · 27/08/2025 12:43

Sex with my wife seems to have gone from electric, passionate and mind blowing to extremely one sided. I know that the ‘honeymoon period’ is over and things do change.
i have two older stepchildren who are almost adults now and one child of my own who is 6 so appreciate this has an impact and my wife is constantly tired and has stuff going on and always on her mind which means she’s rarely in the mood.
What I have noticed though is that when I do initiate anything it’s always me playing with my wife and licking her nipples and when she’s orgasmed we then have sex. She might occasionally feel my cock but never anything more than that and if she feels any pre-cum on my cock this annoys her and tells me I’ve ruined it and she’s not in the mood. She will no longer let me finger her, or go down on her and sex is always missionary. Kissing used to be passionate with tongues and now it’s just literally a peck.
after our son wife said if I get the snip it will be better and we can have more sex as we both hated condoms and she no longer wanted a coil which I was happy to do but it’s gone the complete other way.
ive mentioned it a few times and she says she can never relax incase the youngest comes in our room or if the older kids are in they normally have their partners over and we can constantly hear them at it. Even talking to the oldest the other day just me and him and his gf it somehow came up in conversation about sex and contraception and then they asked how often do we have sex and I was actually embarrassed to say once a month when they were both open to say they are every time they see each other and the girlfriend said she had a similar conversation with her mum who said she still has sex multiple times a week. (Wife has told me all her and her friends don’t need sex and see it as a chore and they just do it quickly so it’s done with so they can get back to the house chores or important stuff they need to get back to) apologies for the long post but a lot going on and just a bit confused.

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 27/08/2025 13:09

It’s not going to get any better sadly.

Gymbunny2025 · 27/08/2025 13:14

Firstly- it’s totally totally unacceptable for you to be telling her son how often she has sex?! WTAF?? Am I reading that wrong?

secondly in terms of the explanation she has given you about not being able to relax while the kids are in the house- yep this also affects me. Me and my OH work around this with day time dates (my libido is very high and I fully enjoy these times).

IfWeMakeItThroughTheEyeOfTheStorm · 27/08/2025 13:26

Your wife son asked how often you have sex with his mum? Yeah, I don’t think so. These posts get creepier. Just another pervy bloke.

Teddyswims · 27/08/2025 13:27

Gymbunny2025 · 27/08/2025 13:14

Firstly- it’s totally totally unacceptable for you to be telling her son how often she has sex?! WTAF?? Am I reading that wrong?

secondly in terms of the explanation she has given you about not being able to relax while the kids are in the house- yep this also affects me. Me and my OH work around this with day time dates (my libido is very high and I fully enjoy these times).

Probably should have clarified that I didn’t answer his question about how often. The whole topic come up as they had a concern and came to me for advice which I’m glad they did and feel that they can talk to me in a safe space.

my wife and I have tried for day sex when the kids are all at school etc and that’s normally our window but she will always delay by hanging up washing, or taking unexpected phone calls etc and and then it feels rushed. I have a high sex drive and so did she but it’s ultimately fell off a cliff.
I think how one sided it’s become plus not letting me finger her or go down on her when it was one of her favourite things on top of her not being interested in giving me oral anymore or even a handjob I’ve just found quite strange. It’s all stuff we used to do and loved foreplay and now it’s just I have to lick her nipples and play with her until she orgasms then have sex. Even recently I stopped licking her nipples for about 10 seconds and she got annoyed and said the moment is gone and she’s no longer in the mood and just rolled over.
Deep down Part of me wonders if she’s having an affair

OP posts:
Teddyswims · 27/08/2025 13:57

IfWeMakeItThroughTheEyeOfTheStorm · 27/08/2025 13:26

Your wife son asked how often you have sex with his mum? Yeah, I don’t think so. These posts get creepier. Just another pervy bloke.

First of all not a pervy man just a normal bloke, secondly eldest stepson is over 18. If he’s comfortable talking about sex (not the graphic details) but has questions for example about contraception etc then I’m happy to talk to him about it. Did him asking me take me by surprise yes and it’s certainly not something I’d ask my parents but let’s be honest all kids of a certain age upwards know that their parents have sex.

OP posts:
AtYourPleasure · 27/08/2025 14:22

So, your stepson asked how often you have sex with his mum and then his girlfriend offered up the information that her mum still has sex multiple times a week?

Aye, that happened! 👍

IfWeMakeItThroughTheEyeOfTheStorm · 27/08/2025 14:27

Teddyswims · 27/08/2025 13:57

First of all not a pervy man just a normal bloke, secondly eldest stepson is over 18. If he’s comfortable talking about sex (not the graphic details) but has questions for example about contraception etc then I’m happy to talk to him about it. Did him asking me take me by surprise yes and it’s certainly not something I’d ask my parents but let’s be honest all kids of a certain age upwards know that their parents have sex.

Talking about contraception is normal. Talking about how many times a week their mum has sex absolutely isn’t. You’re not a normal bloke if you think that is normal. This didn’t happen and your motives for discussing this on mumsnet are ‘questionable’.

🤢🤮

Gymbunny2025 · 27/08/2025 14:34

Oh yeah of course it’s just another pervy bloke I’m such a mug! Yuck 🤮

Gymbunny2025 · 27/08/2025 14:39

This board is swarming with men pretending to be women, men posting about their fetishes and wanting to chat to women about them and men trying to get sex. It’s such a shame

AnHourToAnywhere · 27/08/2025 15:08

IfWeMakeItThroughTheEyeOfTheStorm · 27/08/2025 14:27

Talking about contraception is normal. Talking about how many times a week their mum has sex absolutely isn’t. You’re not a normal bloke if you think that is normal. This didn’t happen and your motives for discussing this on mumsnet are ‘questionable’.

🤢🤮

This. Go away OP.

Everyone needs to report these posters.

SirRaymondClench · 27/08/2025 20:06

Gymbunny2025 · 27/08/2025 14:39

This board is swarming with men pretending to be women, men posting about their fetishes and wanting to chat to women about them and men trying to get sex. It’s such a shame

It's crawling with them. Women on MN have to post sex related questions elsewhere because this board is overrun with the hairy-handed waiting for salacious details.
It's a shame that women can't even have a sex topic without pervs writing out their wank fodder.

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