DRUGS,ALCOHOL, MONEY AND ESCORTS

[JX84]

My husband has a massive issue with cocaine addiction, which leads to escorts.
Last night he was out and spent a £1000 on a three hour 'party' with an escort. Last Thursday he spent £3000 on a party with an escort. What the F*ck! He doesn't even have a job as he has been out of work for a year and is spending savings that we honestly cannot afford to spend on day to day stuff let alone this.

You posted a similar thread about your husband four years ago. He's not beyond help but he's going to need to hit rock bottom before he gets better. If you're still with him when that happens, he'll ruin your life. I guess people on here with more experience of divorce would advise you to get a lawyer. I hope they'll be along to give you that advice soon. It's not something I have experience of.

Assuming this a genuine post….

he’s a drug addict
he is unfaithful
he pays for sex
he squanders your joint money
he doesn’t have a job

And you are worried about not having the money for ‘this’? You talk about it like it’s an expensive hobby.

Any one of these things ( except possibly the unemployment) is reason for most to leave; surely you know what to do and don’t need advice from strangers on MN?

It's a real post - although I can see why you think it's fake. For real it's my life that I am currently living.

I am struggling coming to terms with the situation and blowing up my son's life by splitting up. It terrifies me and I am scared.

JFC you're worried about blowing up your sons life but your husband could bring home a serious STD like Hepatitis or HIV that can be passed to you and your child. Your husband brings nothing to the table except betrayals, the reason he hasnt changed is because you allow him to act and treat you this way. Your son would have a better quailty of life away from your husband, atm you're teaching him that being an unemployed, drug addicted, cheating person is perfectly ok and normal, you're teaching him its ok to treat your spouse like a POS. Leave him and dont look back. Be better, Do better for your child!

You're right. I know you are. It's crazy but there is something comforting in having him here. I have allowed this to happen and I am as much to blame as he is.

No, you definitely are not equally to blame! Please don't think that!

He is responsible for his behaviour, and by leaving him you will achieve three things:
1- let him face it alone, which he needs to
2- show your son that you care for him enough to take a very hard decision
3- protect yourself from the hell he's dragging all three of you in.
My ex-wife fell into deepening depression, alcohol self medication and constant threats of suicide. Leaving her and keeping my daughters is the most unkind, difficult thing I've done in my life; yet my only regret is not doing it sooner. I struggled with the decision and means of execution (I had to be sure our daughters wouldn't end up alone with her), you don't have that problem. Ask for help and get this man away from you both.

Once he’s spent your savings on sex and drugs he will take out loans secured against your home. If he/you are unable to repay these your home will be repossessed potentially leaving you and your son homeless. Leaving seems like a non brainer to me.

Your husband is ruining your son’s life, not you.

Raise your bar, OP.

I can’t understand how you are affording this??? That’s an insane amount of money. (That’s before even saying what he has done. He is cheating on you and taking drugs!)

You could have brought the whole family on holidays with that money.

How have you that much money if he is not even working ? Sorry I know it’s not the point of the thread but if you have a family to think of, the you cannot allow a drug addict gambler to have access to your accounts.

You must cut the money off immediately.