Mismatched sex drive

[turnstile]

I am seeing someone and he lives a couple of hours away from me. On average we see each other every 3 weeks or so, sometimes more often.

Today he has come over for the weekend, he's been affectionate, cuddling etc and has now fallen asleep. No sexual activity at all. I tried to kiss him, and it just ended up being a series of kisses, I wanted a snog ha.

I just feel rejected a bit to be honest. I know I have a higher sex drive than him but this is the first time we've seen each other after several weeks and not had sex the first night together.

Aibu to feel this way? I purposely didn't initiate more because I felt the kiss was a bit of a rejection...

It's definitely disappointing. Did he say he was tired or not up for anything more tonight? I think it's important to be honest, else inevitably, one partner ends up feeling rejected. Why did you think the kisses were a rejection though? There is nothing wrong in initiating and letting your partner know what you want. And if he is not feeling it, he can say so.

I’d be very disappointed yes. I am seeing someone casually, and we don’t see each other alone (see him at work) too often (due to him being a single parent) but when we do, we always have a lot of sex. I love snogging him so i’d be really disappointed if he didn’t even want a snog. If it’s a one off as he isn’t feeling too good or something then fine, but otherwise i’d assume he had gone off me. Luckily me and this guy have a very well matched sex drive, and so I put up with not being able to see much of him as he makes up for it when I do.

You did initiate… you kissed him. But he subtly turned you down by not allowing it to develop into a snog (and further). If it’s a one off I wouldn’t mention it. He might be tired etc. but you’ve already identified you have a higher sex drive. If you’re only seeing him every few weeks and he’s not meeting your needs even then I’m not sure what the point of continuing is really though

How new is this relationship? You'd expect him to be all over you if you've not been together very long, especially as you don't see each other too often. Are you sure he's not also seeing anyone else? If he's an older guy, then maybe he's affected by ED issues and he's trying to hide it?

Either way, I think you're going to have to tell him how you feel or it will end up in resentment.

We've been seeing each other 5 months so not long.
We're early 30's so no ED etc. I guess he could be seeing someone else but that's not the vibe I'm getting from him.

@turnstile by Friday my dp is usually knackered and even if we haven’t seen each other in 5 days, sex usually off the table even though I’d jump on him despite being tired myself. However usually Saturday and Sunday make up for it as we will have sex 3-4 times . We have been together 5 years. But yes I agree, I would be disappointed … I would want a bloody snog at least. I hope rest of the weekend is more “productive”for you.

If it’s not satisfying you now, it never will and will probably only get worse in time.

5 months is very much the honeymoon period, and the exploration and exciting part, if he doesn’t want to jump on you at every opportunity then I’m afraid he never will. Plus, you see each other pretty infrequently which should give you both heightened desire for each other.

He’s not doing anything by wrong, and neither are you for wanting more, but clearly you aren’t compatible in the sex department.

I’ve been seeing someone for the same time as you, we see each other 3 or 4 nights a week and only once during this time have we not had sex. At one point I was questioning if we were having too much sex, but it has brought us both so much closer together and I wouldn’t have it any other way.