Sex drive through the roof!

[Thejunglewithin]

I’m 44 (f) and over the past few months my sex drive has gone from fairly steady to something much more intense. It’s physical, emotional and constant. I find myself craving sex in a way I haven’t for years, possibly ever.
It feels almost primal, like a part of me has woken up after being dormant.
I’m thinking about it during the day, dreaming about it at night and walking around with this low, persistent ache that’s hard to ignore. I see men walking past me on the street imagining them grabbing me and kissing me!

I’ve read that this can happen during perimenopause, a final surge before the decline. Whatever it is, it’s strong and I’m not sure what to do with it. I don’t want to dampen it, I just want to explore it fully.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of shift? And how did you handle it?

Do you have a partner that could, at least, try to take the edge off what you're feeling?

@JoyousMaker

If I had a partner I don't think I’d be in this predicament.

There's a few of this sort of post here, and TBH sometimes it seems more frustrating with a partner, especially where they are disinterested and you have a high libido. I'm not saying you have to live with it, but having a partner doesn't always guarantee you'll get sorted out.

The obvious answers are to enjoy it, go with it, buy the toys, enjoy the release, and maybe see if you can share this excitement with someone?

I’ve tried the toys and solo fun, but honestly, sometimes I just want a man who knows how to really ignite that fire. I’m half tempted to make the first move on a man I like, next time I’m out for drinks.
It genuinely feels like an itch that needs scratching!

That's a high-risk plan but I guess there does come a point....

I went on to Tinder for this very reason last year and wasn’t disappointed!! 🔥

I’m put off by Tinder. Aren’t all the men on there sex pests?
I know all I want is sex but I have my limits 😆

Do it what do you have to lose?? Then report back when you have 😂

I know what you mean, I decided to just try it after coming out of a 10 year marriage (I was 44 too). I didn’t find everyone to be sex pests at all, I had message chats with a few guys and even did some sexting with a select few which was insanely hot. The guy I decided to go on a date with and scratch my itch turned out to be a brilliant guy and we’re still together 10 months later, still having tons of sex 😅

it happened to me roundabout that age, tbh I loved taking the initiative with men and when they tried with me I’d unashamedly make it clear what I was looking for early on
Enjoy, it doesn’t last forever!
PS
ukfreedating suited my needs a little better than tinder and still does lol

I’m a similar age, certainly no decline yet, far from it. Often female upbringing teaches us not to respond to and even be scared of our own positive sexuality. It can take many years to challenge this. In short, use it or lose it.

l think that meeting someone in real life far outweighs any dating site. At least you know from the outset what they look like, their body language etc. If you meet someone you like, make it clear what you want and equally what you don’t want.

Finally remember condom, condom, condom. Smart women carry condoms. Over the years l’ve probably “loaned” more to friends than I’ve had used with me, but l forgive them!

Good luck and listen to your body and its needs. ❤

Dress seductively and sit at the bar on your own. You won't have to do much work.
Alternatively, try Feeld or Killing Kittens.

I totally agree with this. Even better go with another single girlfriend. You’ll be batting men away like flies all night and having a laugh too!

I wouldn’t dress over seductively, there is a huge difference between asserting yourself, going for someone you fancy and getting pestered by people you would not consider under any circumstances.

Read this back. Lol.

@GentlemanJay - A woman wanting sex is healthy and normal. Not wanting a sex pest is also normal.

I never said it was. The two sentences looked like contradictions to me. I’m wanting sex, but I don’t want to go on tinder because it’s full of men wanting sex.

It’s humour.

Exactly 🙄

The difference lies in the word pest!

I’m on Tinder too. I make it very clear from the start I’m not looking for a full relationship as soon as I start exchanging messages.

Most thank me for my honesty. As soon as they say they are not interested I thank them for the brief chat and move on.

There is a new category on Tinder called “Short Term Fun”. Most of the women in that category are there by mistake. They didn’t know they had selected that category.

In fact the only thing worse than a tinder sex pest is a mumsnet sex pest!

That is why I never DM anyone on Mumsnet.

You may be surprised at how many “women” DM me. Lol.

I had to prove to someone on here that I was a woman once. Should have left well alone because he went on to message me under another account pretending to be someone else.

😀

I’m wondering how he (assume a man) wanted you to prove you are a woman… 🤔😂