My husband and I seem to be in a bit of a dip when it comes to our sex life. For many years when we had young babies and toddlers, it was me who wasn’t interested and he was much more driven than me although very respectful about it. Post the young baby/toddler stage, my libido came back. I also lost some weight and started to dress differently and grew in confidence. However, since then I’ve realised that it seems to be me who has the higher libido. His is very up and down, he has ADHD which seems to make a difference. Things have been better lately but we’re now in a bit of a dip again. I feel like my desire has been moved somewhat after years of feeling like there’s something wrong with me for wanting sex with my husband or not feeling like I’m desirable or attractive to him. He insists this is not the case but it’s how it feels.
He doesn’t have a problem slapping my bum, play fighting with me etc but at the moment it’s not leading anywhere. I feel like maybe he’s bored? Or maybe I need to take the initiative but I’m not sure how to do that and I’m really scared of being rejected. Does anyone have any advice on this? I’ve always left it to him to take the lead but I’ve noticed his desire is often spiked in response to mine and so maybe this isn’t the right way to do things.
equally, maybe he just isn’t that into me anymore? He kisses me goodnight every night and I feel like he has put a huge amount of effort in over the past year following an emotional investment out of our marriage that could have turned into an emotional affair if it had continued. We’ve done so much work to get back on track and I suppose sex or intimacy is one of the ways I feel reassured that we’re okay. When that’s not happening as often as usual, I worry…