Would you use barrier protection in this situation

[TryingAgain7651]

M/F new partners
Both divorced and had clear sti checks
F - mirena coil and most likely menopausal
No other sexual partners

??

It depends on how much I trusted him to be faithful to me. STIs would be my main concern. You're probably unlikely to get pregnant if you're menopausal and the coil has always worked for you but if you're likely to really worry about it then maybe for peace of mind it's worth it?

There is trust on both sides I'd say.
I do a routine pregnancy test every few weeks just as a precaution.

Yes I would.

I had trust with my X. Turns out that trust was misplaced.

It sounds like it's very early days so you have no idea if he can be trusted or not, so for that reason I would.

I would probably take a chance (as long as tests are clear) because I hate condoms and they make me sore. Probably not a good idea but I can be a bit impulsive when it comes to sex - all sensible ideas go out the window 😂

Always always always start with condoms!

It takes time to build up trust, and trust is necessary if you're having unprotected sex.

Plus it gives you (and especially him!) something to look forward to.

I'd advise both M & F to use condoms to start with. As it's a new relationship, neither of you knows much about the other. From his perspective, you wouldn't need to do a pregnancy test every few weeks if you weren't having sex and IIRC postal STI tests take a week or two to give you results.
There's plenty of time to go au naturel when you have both know each other's lifestyles better.

Condoms are always a good way to start.
It's easy to move from using condoms to going without them. It's much harder to start off without them and then insist on using them later on.
There's nothing wrong with an extra layer of protection. There's no harm in using them. Plus, it gives you a great opportunity to see how he reacts to a very valid question for your safety. Does he respond with understanding and respect, or will he huff and puff because "condoms are no fun?"

What was dating history / time between end of marriage and starting this new relationship? Shagging about or little/ no action?

Not all STI show up immediately, not everyone is truthful when when they last did the deed and unfortunately not everyone is faithful. I would agree barrier method until a repeat STI test in 3 or 6 months and if clear and things still going well then reassess.

I still would for a while. Things like herpes is not tested for in STi checks as you need an active infection to test it. Once you know him a little more, maybe worth just mentioning before ditching the condoms. Just say you’re aware that you both have done the test, but ask if he’s ever had an outbreak. Sometimes you have one outbreak, goes away and you forgot all about it, only 20 odd years ago, for it to return and then get regular flares. Happened to a friend of mine. She never got tested initially but did on second flare up, then realised she caught it 20yrs earlier.