Boyfriend masturbating

Woody003 · 19/07/2025 22:11

Pigmum86 · 19/07/2025 19:39

I don’t mind that my boyfriend masturbates as I know it’s normal.
I got back from work and he admitted he had done it today. I asked what porn he had watched and he said anal. I’ve never done that with him and it’s kind of an ongoing joke between us, which I can laugh along with: him teasing me about doing it with me and me telling him to pee off. Anyway, it’s just bothered me that that’s what he’s watching cos I know he used to do it all the time with his ex. He said he wasn’t too fussed about doing it with me if I didn’t want to as he’s ’been there, done that’. I suppose I feel inferior and a bit jealous that he’s watching women doing that and getting off to it and it’s making me think he’s thinking back to him and his ex to get off. Am I being an idiot?

You need to talk to him about it but if you don’t want to do it you shouldn’t , or ask to do it to him lol see what he says

ReluctantBikini · 20/07/2025 00:56

If you know that your DP masturbates why are you asking about this? I know that my DP does (as do I) but it really doesn't warrant a conversation about what got him off. I just wouldn't think to ask and neither do I care.

And if my DP asked what worked for me that day I would probably tell him to mind his own business.

Angela59 · 20/07/2025 06:54

Tell him your willing to try but your one of those generous people in life that feel it’s better to give than receive
Say after you’ve pegged him you’ll think about it,,,,,,, Maybe?

Smithey588 · 20/07/2025 07:11

Angela59 · 20/07/2025 06:54

Tell him your willing to try but your one of those generous people in life that feel it’s better to give than receive
Say after you’ve pegged him you’ll think about it,,,,,,, Maybe?

Tbf I love it; but agree it’s a good compromise!

Zanatdy · 20/07/2025 07:21

It seems a bit odd you’re asking him about masturbation and what he is watching. I’d be a bit peed off if I was asked that. Let’s face it, most men like anal, and so it’s no surprise he is watching it. It doesn’t mean he is going to get back with his ex just because he watched some anal porn. A lot of bog standard porn includes anal now, as it’s pretty mainstream. I quite enjoy it, at the right time, but you clearly have a right to not want to. Quit asking him if he’s been masturbating and what porn he is viewing.

jubs15 · 20/07/2025 08:19

You asked what porn your boyfriend had been watching and you somehow know he used to have anal sex a lot with his ex. That's not the sort of thing that tends to come up in general conversation, so did you ask him about that too? You are now paying the price for these questions. You are over-asking and he is over-sharing.

What he did in the past should have no effect on the present. If he wants to watch anal porn it should not translate into you being pressured into it. Many women will not do it. Him teasing you about it isn't funny. You have said no and that should be the end of it.

Woody003 · 20/07/2025 08:57

Smithey588 · 20/07/2025 07:11

Tbf I love it; but agree it’s a good compromise!

Show quote history

That’s fair he he

AtBeaverGoat · 20/07/2025 09:58

Pigmum86 · 19/07/2025 19:39

I don’t mind that my boyfriend masturbates as I know it’s normal.
I got back from work and he admitted he had done it today. I asked what porn he had watched and he said anal. I’ve never done that with him and it’s kind of an ongoing joke between us, which I can laugh along with: him teasing me about doing it with me and me telling him to pee off. Anyway, it’s just bothered me that that’s what he’s watching cos I know he used to do it all the time with his ex. He said he wasn’t too fussed about doing it with me if I didn’t want to as he’s ’been there, done that’. I suppose I feel inferior and a bit jealous that he’s watching women doing that and getting off to it and it’s making me think he’s thinking back to him and his ex to get off. Am I being an idiot?

You asked him a specific question and got a straight answer, 🤷🏻

Namechangednorth · 20/07/2025 10:04

Well you asked him, but I’m not sure I would always believe him. Reality is he probably really does want to do it with you but he also sounds like he gets that you don’t sounds like you want to try it with him. But yes as a result you are, and am wondering if he is recalling his times with his ex. Only he knows but I doubt he is going to admit that to you!

Gymbunny2025 · 20/07/2025 12:16

jubs15 · 20/07/2025 08:19

You asked what porn your boyfriend had been watching and you somehow know he used to have anal sex a lot with his ex. That's not the sort of thing that tends to come up in general conversation, so did you ask him about that too? You are now paying the price for these questions. You are over-asking and he is over-sharing.

What he did in the past should have no effect on the present. If he wants to watch anal porn it should not translate into you being pressured into it. Many women will not do it. Him teasing you about it isn't funny. You have said no and that should be the end of it.

I agree with this.

but you say you feel inferior and jealous. I’m not sure if those are ‘you’ issues or his actions or both. But either way it’s a really really unhealthy way to feel in a relationship. You’re now at the stage where you have convinced yourself he preferred sex with his ex. I’m not sure there’s any way back from that…

Personally I think you would benefit from being single and having counselling. When you feel secure in yourself you will only accept a relationship that allows you to feel secure. And then you really won’t care what kind of sex he had with his ex.

good luck

mnmnddddd · 20/07/2025 13:16

If he says he's not bothered about doing something with you, why aren't you content with that? How ypu address that depends of whether has he proved himself untrustworthy (ie it's about him) or whether you find it hard to trust people (ie it's about you).