Do other women still fantasise like this, or is it just me?

[WokeUpWantingMore]

I’m not sure if this is just a phase or something deeper, but lately I’ve been craving a level of intimacy that my current life doesn’t seem to offer anymore. I’ve had my one night stands, I’ve had men on here PM me and flirt outrageously, I’ve even been open to meeting a couple but then they show their true colours as it’s all about sex. It was nice while it lasted but where are the men on here that are not just about sex?
It’s not fulfilling and It feels shallow and short lived and dare I say it, boring.
I miss slow kisses, late night conversations that blur into something more. I want to laugh again with someone who genuinely isn’t trying too hard to be something he isn’t.

I just feeling a little invisible lately, I think I’ve dug my own hole where men just want sex from me and stupid me is offering it on a plate as it makes me feel wanted and loved in that short space of time. Would love to hear from anyone who understands what I mean.

Every one needs a bit of escape now and then

What you mean is authenticity and that's difficult to find in a society that is all about survival. To survive people put on a front a kind of mask to hide their truth.

Authenticity brings clarity, not doubt, not confusion, peace not drama, presence without games.

Blimey you only posted about your first ONS earlier in the week! Time flies 😂

most women want deeper/connection. I’d say stay away from anyone online. Take your time and find someone you can build something genuine with in real life. He will value you for who you are (and vica versa then)

Remember too anyone who you ‘meet’ online places no value on you or your feelings (why would they when they don’t know you?). You are literally just someone to help them wank or to try and stick their bits in.

I don't know how old you are but, have you evert thought of joining a club such as swimming? Or, sign up to do a course?

Years ago before we had children my wife ran two adult classes and over the course of a year, she noticed a couple of pairing ups.

Perhaps, worth a try??

🤔
Am I utterly niaive or you totally cynical?

maybe the truth is somewhere in between..x

do you mean you think all the men that message posters from this board are actually after genuine friendship/connection rather than sex or sex chats.

yes I think you’re naive 😂. Isn’t it interesting how they only message women (or men they think are women) on this board. Rather than all the dozens of others…

Do you think it's a huge coincidence that the percentage of men on this board is so much higher than say the Style and Beauty board or say Elderly Parents?

Gymbunny has it right.

@Gymbunny2025 @SirRaymondClench
How very dare you! I’ll have you know there’s an excellent knowledgeable crochet crowd on MN ……😉

....and I'll bet they talk about lace knickers a lot!

That would be telling…😉

I don't think you'd find men on here who aren't just after sex. I think when you are in a place spilling some of your deepest thoughts, sexual experiences etc then it gives an opening. I've had a lot of messages from men on here offering a lot. I think anyone who wasn't looking for sex would be more likely to share experiences and give their thoughts on an open forum to help instead of a private message.

Id say a lot of women crave connection who don't have it. I probably have some slight similarities to you in that I seem to take continue to engage with people that will lead down a path where I know it won't give me what I crave solely for the fact that I'll feel wanted, just for a moment.

Isn't that true of real life also?

Sure they'll go out with us, spend time with us but they only do it because they want sex. It's not because they actually want to get know us and build something genuine. We literally are something to stick their bits in.

Nothing worthwhile comes easy. I crave intimacy and connection too, to be held, to be kissed, to be touched… but to be honest I’m post divorce, a single Mum, full time job, and my sanity and peace trump my desire for men. I’m still a very sexual person but have learnt to play with myself. I don’t let men see this side of me because they consume it rather than enter into anything real or meaningful. Often, their entitlement astounds and disappoints me.

I actually disagree to a degree. I have “met” a lot of guys on here through PM and yes, the very vast majority just want you to get them off.

However, I have also made lasting friendships with a few with whom we rarely discuss sex. It comes up every now and then, but it’s not the main topic and we’ve been “friends” for a few years now.

I have found the ones who message on the main board as well are the ones who are more “genuine”. It’s the users with no posting history who are usually the ones with a sex only agenda.

Early 2024 I had someone PM me wanting to discuss outdoor sex and I changed the topic to the price of hay 😂. We’ve chatted every day since and hardly ever talk about sex.

There are some good guys here, but the ones who are just after sex stuff usually show their intentions very quickly, so you shouldn’t be wasting too much time on them.

I do agree @MsDDxx that some people (men and women) like to have a penpal in their pocket. And why not. But if I was a single woman looking for genuine connection I would avoid that as I still think it’s very unlikely to be anything more. But yes if you want friendly chats definitely avoid the anonymous ones still!

@AtYourPleasure I think when a man does fall for you he falls hard and it’s way more than about sex. And as a woman you know it. You’re not left wondering