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Original poster

Is it normal to go through dry patches?

8 replies

Mum8476200 · 13/07/2025 03:25

Hello, just that really. My fiance and I have two children under 5, youngest being 1 and we both do enjoy having sex around 3 times a week usually. Recently since coming back off holiday its been averaging about once every 2 weeks which we have both discussed and are not enjoying. Im just finding it so hard to be turned on at the moment, last time we had sex was around 2 weeks ago and I have since been in my luteal phase and then my period just stopped today. He tried it on with me and I just couldn't get into it but its not like I dont want too.
Is it normal to go through try patches?
My friend was telling me about her insane sex the other day, she was really wet etc and finding myself getting jealous which is so unlike me but sex just hasn't been ravenous. I probably sound very dramatic but I am such an overthinker I thought hearing some people's opinions/own experiences would help.

We just want to get things back on track but I really dont want to just desire it whilst I'm ovulating. I just dont desire it right now but my mind is actually wanting it! It's like my body doesn't.
We do try and be flirty but its not the easiest thing to do sometimes with the girls, they are very demanding at the moment which I know is normal.
We do love eachother but feel quite lost at the moment.
Tell me it gets easier please!

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 13/07/2025 07:32

Of course it’s normal! I think I’d just tell your friend to stop oversharing!!

Original poster
Mum8476200 · 13/07/2025 08:43

Bump x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum8476200 · 13/07/2025 08:44

Gymbunny2025 · 13/07/2025 07:32

Of course it’s normal! I think I’d just tell your friend to stop oversharing!!

Thank you, Im just getting so worried that something is wrong with me. We have been together for 6 years and of course there was little dry patches after having the girls but nothing major. I guess I just miss the intimacy and feeling close but then my body isnt reacting like it should? Then I overthink do I actually love him

OP posts:
Girlmom35 · 15/07/2025 15:24

I think that this stage of life with very young children is the most challenging time every, for any relationship.
Be patiënt. Be kind to each other. Give it time.
Rather than focussing on sex, maybe try to focus on keeping the level of intimacy and romance elevated in your relationship. Sex isn't the only way to do that. Sex also isn't the only indication of a healthy relationship.
Spend time together, way from your children. Go on dates. Have long conversations. Share your worries, dreams and hopes with each other. Be close, physically affectionate, attentive to each others' needs.
And then maybe a year from now you can re-evaluate where you stand on the sex front.

GigiAnnna · 15/07/2025 20:02

Yes, normal. Nothing kills sex drive more than kids and the tiredness that comes with it. My libido is generally high but it definitely dips when my kids are being more challenging, particularly of an evening. We do try to make sure we're still doing it at least a couple of times a week and we always maintain physical touch and affection.

Original poster
Mum8476200 · 16/07/2025 16:58

Girlmom35 · 15/07/2025 15:24

I think that this stage of life with very young children is the most challenging time every, for any relationship.
Be patiënt. Be kind to each other. Give it time.
Rather than focussing on sex, maybe try to focus on keeping the level of intimacy and romance elevated in your relationship. Sex isn't the only way to do that. Sex also isn't the only indication of a healthy relationship.
Spend time together, way from your children. Go on dates. Have long conversations. Share your worries, dreams and hopes with each other. Be close, physically affectionate, attentive to each others' needs.
And then maybe a year from now you can re-evaluate where you stand on the sex front.

Thank you, we definitely are trying to implement more dates as my parents and my fiances dad is happy to watch the girls. I just overthink leaving them sometimes.
I think we just get so caught up and I get touched out very easily, definitely need to be more intimate in other ways though. We do always cuddle on a nighttime which is lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum8476200 · 16/07/2025 17:00

GigiAnnna · 15/07/2025 20:02

Yes, normal. Nothing kills sex drive more than kids and the tiredness that comes with it. My libido is generally high but it definitely dips when my kids are being more challenging, particularly of an evening. We do try to make sure we're still doing it at least a couple of times a week and we always maintain physical touch and affection.

Thank you! Thats what we want and usually do, a few times a week. But been struggling recently due to the girls being hardwork. Nothing is more of a turn off for me than having to sort of implement/plan it. I also struggle to 'start it off' as I must admit I do prefer him starting it. Could someone explain why this might be? That I prefer him to start it off? (Sex)

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 16/07/2025 17:26

Because you are exhausted?? And if he initiates you will ‘try’ whereas won’t bother if he doesn’t?

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