This isn’t a thread about a thread, but admit it is inspired by one that got me thinking.
It feels like we put a lot of pressure on men regarding orgasms, with the expectation that they’re responsible for both theirs and their partners during sex.
Women will often say things like “he gives me an orgasm, before he sorts himself out”. And women will often be disappointed in a man who struggles to “get her off”.
Not only that, they’re responsible for orgasming in the right way, and in the right timeframe during sex. It generally needs to be during PIV sex (if they don’t it’s “death grip”) and not too quickly and not take too long, but just right. The more I think about it I think a lot of women (and men) see sex as a “performance”… When things don’t go as desired we even call it performance anxiety ffs!
This can’t be healthy, and women’s expectations of how a man will “perform” is probably at least one part of the cause for the loads of sexual dysfunction out there.
For context, I’m now having the best sex of my life with my DP of nearly 2 years…And I think one of the key reasons it is so good is that there’s no expectation of orgasm from either side… When together we have lots of sex, a few times each day, and perhaps only 1/3 to 1/2 of those times end in an orgasm…. So still plenty orgasms when you add them up… It makes for an experience without pressure or fear of disappointment from either of us and I’ve found it liberating. Sex becomes the experience of enjoying each other’s bodies in the moment without expectation, with a focus on the “journey” not the “destination”.
Sometimes one of us will cum more frequently because we happen to be particularly horny, sometimes not, but it doesn’t matter, and it’s great!