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Stick or twist?

4 replies

Dilemma654 · 07/07/2025 00:19

I'm late 50s.

I had a 20 year marriage until he cheated.

I'm very content alone and was single for 4 years post marriage.

But I prefer companionship.

And I enjoy penetrative sex with someone I care about.

I've been seeing a man for 18 months.

Companion wise, he's everything I want, and more.

Sex wise, he's good (but not great) at foreplay. He has occasional ED. He's had all the tests going, and it's an age thing. Viagra sporadically works. When he can maintain an erection, penetrative sex only lasts up to 3 minutes.

The two times I've gently raised this issue knocked him, and meant he didn't relax enough to get an erection for months after.

Everything else about us works so well, but I'm frustrated with our sex life. I love being pounded into the bed. My current guy has never been able to do that.

The (older) man I was seeing for 2 years before the current one could go for hours in bed. It was amazing. We'd often get out of bed at 3pm on a Sunday after waking at 8am. So I know it's not an age thing. Fwiw, that ended because he cheated too.

I could ditch the current man and try to find someone else. But I love him. We work brilliantly in every way except the bedroom. And at this point in life, it feels like too much effort to try to replace him. Plus I'm not sure I want to. I adore him and he adores me.

There's no telling if I'll find a guy who treats me as well as my current man does AND can fuck me for hours. Having him in my life is more fun than my single life. But it's not 100% the dream.

Would you stick or twist?

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 07/07/2025 07:27

How understanding is he of your needs? Would he consider opening up your relationship so you could get the sex you want occasionally?

Parkrun69 · 07/07/2025 10:15

Has he tried 100 mg viagra , for someone who has no medical issues just age this should definitely work . I personally find it delays my climax .
There are delay wipes and delay tablets available and a cock ring will work wonders .
Also he could try a strap on this would be fun and different.
Does he ever pleasure you with a dildo ?
Hope this helps

Dilemma654 · 07/07/2025 12:06

I don't care if he'd consider it @Gymbunny2025 . I wouldn't.

Meaningless sex isn't where I'm at, and I don't want to develop another relationship in order for better sex.

Viagra only works if the head allows it to @Parkrun69 We've played with dildo's but not with him on top of me. A strap on could be interesting to try. Thanks for the suggestion.

OP posts:
BeEagerTurtle · 08/07/2025 00:25

Has he tried the daily pills- rather than viagra as the meds stay in the bloodstream for longer and also a testosterone check just to make sure that okay

going for hours sounds like a tall order for most men TBH

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