Not having sex as often as I'd like

[dearmissdear]

When we got together we would be 10 times a week minimum, which suited me pretty well. Over the last few months the number of times has fallen dramatically to twice a week or so. Needless to say I am pretty frustrated, but fine... he's tired or not in the mood or too hot or too stressed.

But, he keeps making comments about oral and how "that's got to be worth a blowjob" when he's done a task around the house. AIBU to think that if you are to tired for sex, and leaving me unfulfilled then you don't get to lie back and enjoy a blowjob. I enjoy giving oral, but not when I know it isn't going to lead to anything else, and not when I am not getting what I need myself.

It sounds like he still wants ‘sex’ but more oral and less piv? Totally understandable why you don’t one one sided sex! Have you asked him why? Could it be energy level/weight issue? Have you tried commenting that it’s your turn first when he asks for a BJ? How would he react?

He never responds when I initiate. It's always when he wants - because then I want too. But if I try and start something he wont get drawn in

He has had a huge drop in fitness, but then he's never going to get fit again if he doesn't want to do anything. If I comment along those lines, he just makes out like I'm joining in the joke

Tell him he can have a blow job as soon as he's gone down on you ... and hand him your knickers. Just make sure to do it with a smile. If that doesn't get him on his knees, there's something else going on (though not necessarily anything sinister!)

If he's got fitness issues, you can help most with that with compassion. Few of us feel sexy when we dont like the shape we're in and, once we get to a certain age, it gets harder to shift the pounds. You can help him best if you walk that road with him.

Yeah- that’s not good - it’s perfectly reasonable for anyone to say no to sex for any reason whatsoever, but only on your own terms is not acceptable really