Lost my sex drive

[Skylark01]

I am a 40 year old woman, the past 6 months I have lost any interest in sex. My DH hasn’t mentioned it, but I feel he’s picking up on my disinterest in sex, as I'm not initiating much anymore and I’m often turning down sex. We still have sex, but it’s quite little at the moment.
How do I get my sex drive back?

Where/how did you lose it.? Posters need some kind of clue as to how, when and where if they are to help you.

Where did you lose it 😂 brilliant question!

Maybe look in the last place you had it?!

@Skylark01 when did you last feel excited looking ahead to sex with DH? or is the sex now just as you being the dutiful wife? p.s. I’m assuming you find it uncomfortable to chat openly with DH about your sexual desires ? Hope I’m wrong✊🏿

It could be the start of peri menopause @Skylark01 Have you noticed any other menopause symptoms?
I always recommend looking at the Jenny Keane website or Instagram page as she does online workshops that you can pay for. There are various topics but she does things around keeping your interest in long term relationships. She also sells a range of toys that might be useful.
Also, Dr Karen Gurney has written two books that you might find useful. She is The Sex Doctor on Instagram.

Have you looked down the back of the sofa?
Seriously, I cant tell you how to get it back, but the best I can offer is my experience if that side of your relationship disappears. If sex is important to your DP, losing that will test any other weaknesses. And that's OK, because intimacy is the glue that holds the cracks in EVERY relationship. If your DP isn't bothered by a lack of physical intimacy, the loss of emotional intimacy would be just as challenging.
Whatever the cause is, now is the time to communicate with your DP. Be honest with them, encourage them to be honest with you, and accept each other's honesty. And be honest with yourself.
You might loose interest in sex, and that's fine, but you have no more right to impose that on your DP than they do to impose their continuing needs on you.
Good luck! ❤️

Could you be experiencing some symptoms of perimenopause? You’re not too young - I started symptoms at 37/38 but mine was an increase in sex drive; some women lose interest. You may have no other symptoms yet but it’s something to consider.

How do you feel about him generally and the rest of your relationship? Has he become too “familiar”? Maybe try some new things together, not just sexually (but that too!), and see if your interest is renewed? Relationships can be hard work sometimes!

I would start with getting your hormones checked because a little topical oestrogen or topical testosterone if you need it can work wonders. Also vitamin and mineral supplements in case it's tanking because of that.

There are various herbals you can try, maca, ashwaganda, horny goat weed etc

Then try reading some erotic literature and edging (amazing at bringing blood flowing to the right parts) can boost things up.

Do you still fancy your DH though OP? Because if you don't there isn't much that can help that