Am I a prude ?? I hate the certain sex words!!

[messyhouses]

married 20+ years two grown up kids 49 agreed i am perimenopausal I’m very missionary sort of girl, BJ with condoms only ( hate the thought of DH ejaculating in my mouth)
Any how DH took it upon himself to start sex texting me ( he thought it would spice up our love life)
he used the word cum a lot , i absolutely hate this word it feels really porny and it gives me the ick
The problem is when he’s in the moment and says” I’m going to cm inside you” or “ make me cm”
I can’t get it out of me head
i I don’t like the word masturbate or wank
help
are there alternate phrases that I can suggest , am I going mental to just be thinking this now !!
I love him dearly, but this is putting me off the job

Just ask him not to try to talk dirty. It sounds like, apart from that, you have a good sex life. Don't let this spoil it.

I used to be quite similar to you OP. My mother was very anti anything to do with sex or boys when I was growing up so I thought sex was shameful.

I pushed myself to try things, say the words I didn’t like and now I love it.

I am not saying you should force yourself to do anything, but I really wanted to be more liberal and laid back about sex so I worked towards that. Now I’m the one telling my DH to “cum…”

I’m not sure alternative words are going to sound any better, because I don’t think it’s the words that are the issue, but rather your views on sex generally. You already state your quite “vanilla”, which is absolutely fine by the way, and I think it’s what the word refers to, rather than the word itself, that you find off putting.

Don’t be forced to sext if you don’t want to, if it will make you feel silly or embarrassed. As with all things about sex, if it’s not fun, don’t do it!

@messyhouses dont do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable @MsDDxx sound advice 👍🏿

I wouldn’t class saying you’re going to cum or make me cum as dirty talk more factual. Possibly ask him to not text but if he’s started doing these things my inclination would be he’s doing some work on improving or spicing up your sex life which when you read the appalling behaviour of men on the relationship board it’s not a bad thing?

@MsDDxx makes a great point about maybe addressing why you feel like you do and the benefits to possibly leaning in a little. If your enjoying what your enjoying then that’s fine but I think you do need a conversation with DH before he gets disheartened as I have been there and can also be a vulnerable place.

I read Esther Perel’s mating in captivity recommended on MN and it was excellent.

@messyhouses I've been pondering this. I'd suggest understanding why your husband might want to talk in that way: as a man, I think there's a positive aspect to it. I'd also formulate a way of asking him not to do it.

Yes, I think you are a little prudish but that’s who you are, and as long as your DH and you are happy then prude away!

I don’t think exclaiming I’m going to cum is dirty talk, far better than saying I’m going to ejaculate or release my load IMO. But, if you don’t like it, tell him.

for me personally, I’d get bored very quickly with your set up and I’d suggest that’s maybe why your DH has started sexting, to spice things up.

ifs fine to be prudish, but it’s not for me. But as long as your DH is fine with it then crack on.

It seems an odd thing for him to suddenly start doing 20 years into a marriage (explicit sexting)! I do understand why he might want to expand your sex life. But surely the way to do this is to discuss ideas between you?!

I think you should be clear you aren’t a fan of sexting as it risks giving you the ick and putting you off him completely!