How 'on demand' are you?

[thedigitalme]

I think this is a good topic for both genders.

DW has the ability to become easily turned on. When l initiate she always responds - well, 9 times out of 10; there have been rare occasions when she tells me it's not a good idea, although I can't remember the last time. (I know, lucky guy).

But for me - well, if she initiates sex I have always found it more tricky to respond. I can't get into it unless I am already in the mood, and over the years it has meant she initiates less. It caused her to lose some confidence in the bedroom as well.

The good news is that in the last year I've been a lot better at responding on demand. I'm not sure why exactly, and obviously it's a good thing for us both, but I regret not being able to in the past.

So I was wondering, if your partner initiates, are you able to get into it on demand? I appreciate it's more complex than the poll suggests :)

For me- it depends 😂

if we’re alone- very easily aroused. But if kids around- very rarely.

so I feel I can’t do your poll!

@Gymbunny2025 sure I appreciate life can get in the way. But you sound like a ‘I can usually get into it’ type…😃

Need to be into it

I just need a sign he’s keen and I’m ready to go! It honestly doesn’t take much for me, however tired or stressed I might be. My DH has a lower sex drive than I do, so I never say no because you never know when the next time will be. And as I say, I get turned on pretty quickly 😁

This!

And as we rarely have time alone without the kids, when we do get an evening away together in a hotel, we often just end up falling asleep because we’re shattered … but then sex the next morning is always really great.

I’d say both my DH and I are easily aroused when the other initiates, but overall I definitely want sex more than he does, sadly.

Hmmm. I need to be in the mood - in so much as... if he's pissed me off, if we've been arguing etc... (depending on what has been said/topic) then I won't want him near me and it just won't happen.

But also, I can be "not in the mood" - meaning I'm not necessarily actively horny but if something starts I'll usually respond well!

I'd have thought most men would love their wives/OHs initiating.

He's got certain things he will do that get me in the mood if I'm not feeling particularly horny and they usually work. But if he knows I'm exhausted and I just need my back stroked or a cuddle in bed then that's what he'll do. That makes me hornier for him in general because he's reactive and respectful of my needs.

Completely agree @GigiAnnna my partner slowly stroking my back and bottom, gets me in the mood every time.

Amazing kisses can turn me on, even when I don't feel in the mood.

Oh yes.. slow French kissing always does it for me.

Yikes, judging by the poll (of 26 people) so far, it looks like I am well and truly in the minority! I am hoping there might be some more who need to be in the mood already, otherwise I'll need to up my game ;)

I imagine it would be very helpful to a lot of people if you could reflect more on how you were able to change to be more ‘on demand’ for your partner already ☺️

My wife is insanely attractive and looks increasingly sexy as she gets older, so my response to her advances is instant, every time - I hope we never lose this, it’s an amazing thing for sure.

Yeh bunny, I've been more responsive in the last year and I wasn't sure why but on reflection I think it's because DW has changed rather than me. She's become more assertive. One time she had a few drinks at a party we were at and got very frisky, pretty much dragging me up the stairs for sex and talking down to me to 'shape up or ship out' lol. I'm not one for drunken sex, but the personality change got me hard and I did indeed shape up ;)

My partner is the same, she has a very strong sex drive and mine is lower one and I sometimes feel some slight pressure to “perform “ if it’s been a few days or maybe a week

I just pump up and go. Luckily both me and my GF have super high sex drives but even if I wasn’t in the mood ( which is rarely ) and she is, I don’t need to worry if I can ‘perform’. Usually one of us just touches the other sensually and that’s a sign that it’s on.