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Some advice please 🙏

7 replies

Mumtobe135 · 30/05/2025 10:58

This is all a little TMI but I'd appreciate some advice.
Just to clarify my husband suffers with ED.
Found out I was pregnant in December and haven't had sex since.
First trimester was a write off because of how horrific I was feeling.
I spoke to my husband asking if he still finds me attractive etc this was roughly 2 weeks ago. He explained he didn't think I wanted to have sex due to how I was feeling etc which I understand. But basically gave him the heads up of saying I would like to have sex.
I definitely feel I have had a higher sex drive overall. We've spoken about sex in the past because I sometimes feel he just doesn't bother and it's usually me initiating and sometimes he can end up rejecting me which can be quite defeating so I initate less and less.
I'm not sure what to do?
I know he loves me as every other aspect of our relationship is great.

OP posts:
Reidwood · 30/05/2025 11:21

Hi, your DH is struggling to deal with his ED… have you chatted openly or is he embarrassed and bottling it?

Whammyyammy · 30/05/2025 16:48

Talk to him and suggest he makes a doctors appointment.
My husband at 52 suffered with Ed for a while, got tested and was something serious.
He how takes daily meds and has a testosterone shot every 3 months. Perfectly normal life, but omg for his erections, it's like he's 21😉

Reidwood · 30/05/2025 18:16

@Whammyyammysound advice👍🏿 a solid long lasting erection makes a difference as you’ve found out, enjoy your fun with DH again..!

Smithey885 · 30/05/2025 19:35

It must be the lovely weather, the ED threads are back in a vengeance!

firstly, and the absolute most important thing to remember is it’s got nothing to do with you. If a man has physical ED, it’s not caused by you, and unless he gets medical help there is little he can do about it.

But, he has to do something about it, for both your sakes. I saw countless urologists , I wasn’t embarrassed because I wanted a working penis. It took me nearly two years but my god, I’m so glad I got myself sorted.

there are three main reasons why he needs to get checked out.

1)for your mutual sexual enjoyment.
2)to check there’s no underlying health issues like heart disease.
3)to prevent atrophy. I lost 2 inches , if every man who ignored ED due to embarrassment knew that their penis could physically shrink, their view would be very different.

As for not initiating sex whilst you are pregnant, the ED will play a factor, for fear of not performing and letting you down, and secondly some men worry about hurting the baby or just find it a bit strange. Unless they are King Kong their schlong isn’t going anywhere close to the baby!

Mumtobe135 · 01/06/2025 18:36

Thanks for saying it's not me. Even when he says that to me I sometimes think is he telling the truth.

Probably doesn't help I'm pregnant. I'm already feeling a bit conscious of myself automatically with my body changing, just doesn't help when I'm not getting a connection either.

He's gone to the doctor before who've given him viagra but he seems reluctant to do much more.

OP posts:
Mumtobe135 · 01/06/2025 18:38

Thanks for the advice. He's been to the Doctors before which have prescribed viagra this must have been a year or two ago. But he doesn't seem to have improved much. I constantly feel like I'm nagging him and that he isn't too fussed about the situation.

OP posts:
Mumtobe135 · 01/06/2025 18:38

I feel he's quite old fashioned and probably feels embarrassed

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