Honesty isn't always best

[Sogfree]

I think I've knocked my boyfriends confidence significantly. We were both married 20+ years and both faithful. Since my marriage ended, I've had 5 years of fun with FwBs and ONSs. I'm the first person he's had sex with since his marriage ended 4 years ago.

The last 10 months that we've been together, sex has gone from terrible to just about bearable. I've focused on the many many wonderful things about him and allowed time to slowly improve things in the bedroom.

An alcohol fuelled conversation over the weekend meant squirting was discussed. He insisted it wasn't a thing, so I told him I have done so countless times. He was jokingly still refusing to believe me, so I told him it was with more than one man. Again, he joked that I just needed a wee, so I told him about the sex club I've been to a few times and on one occasion made a girl squirt 4 times.

There was no judgement about the sex club, but a comment full of sadness saying that he will have to up his game, as he can't have been hitting the right spots, as I've never squirted with him. Cue me offering platitudes of enjoying the spots he does hit. And secretly thinking, yes, you really do need to up your game. He listened before when I told him I loved having sex, but it seems him now knowing I've been to a sex club a few times has meant he's really heard it.

Viagra and co can't fight his head's random thoughts that already stop his erection in its tracks. I'm now worried that this silly drunk conversation will result in him taking many steps back and I'm going to go back to having 3 minutes of PIV once a month, as that's all he can manage.

Any ideas on how I can make this better? The only option I can see is to lower my expectations again and wait another 6+ months to allow him to rebuild his confidence. Ending things with him is not an option.

All tips welcome.

All Women are different , from my experience some do desire PIV after forms of foreplay and do get frustrated if their DH does not rise to occasion at the right moment!. I was told early on that pleasing my woman in her desires should be number one priority, make sure she leaves me with a glow on her face and desiring more👍🏿

Thanks @AltitudeCheck I know that's true.

But it's not true for me.

For the last cough years, PIV has always been the thing that gets me off the most. The most amazing oral, including squirting, has always been trumped by ok PIV for me.

So skip the foreplay with me @Reidwood 🤣

We've learnt over time what the other likes with oral. But I'm not there with what he loves, nor he with I @D1975 . My learning journey is going quite slowly due to the ED being triggered by a random thought about something he needs to remember.

I think going back to his happy place of lots of skin to skin contact is going to be my default. And size up over time the effect that conversation has had.

I appreciate all your input.

Nothing better for me than pleasuring a women to orgasm several times with my PIV incl squirting…orgasm mutually and stay hard for next one…✊🏿