Wife called me her ex’s name

[NCM25]

exactly as the the title suggests, last week we were having sex after some lengthy foreplay and a lot of dirty talk, we were mid way through having sex and my wife was moaning when she called me by her exes name saying to fuck her harder. I didn’t really think about it at the time and was sort of a turn on in a weird way.
Now some time has passed I’m not sure what I think but I kind of find it a turn on. I don’t think I can mention it to her and I’m almost certain she doesn’t even realise that she did it.

Sounds like it doesn't bother you, and on reflection you liked it.

Do you want her to do it again?

People can say all kind of weird things during the throes of passion - so maybe let it slide this time, especially if she was unaware,
bur not sure how I would feel it constantly happened

Probably not all the time but was a turn on and certainly helped to cum quicker.

Strange

Thanks 👍

Then it sounds best to not mention it to her, enjoy the memory and see if it happens again.

You don't want her mentioning it because you asked her to. That would be weird for both of you imo.

Are you aware of the “Hotpast” kink, being turned on by your partner’s past? Lots of articles about it on-line if you search.

Not directed at you @JustStoppedByOnTheWayToTheShed but why does everything these days have to be a kink?

Why can't people like what they like in that moment without it being given a label or being deemed a kink? 🤷

A kink is just another word for a specific sexual desire/pleasure. There is more awareness now of commonly experienced kinks, and I think the label is often helpful to reduce the shame and stigma attached to it.

I’m amazed you carried on, how on earth could her saying his name be a turn on?

Having a kink or 5 is now the norm it seems.

Kinks are no longer kinky.

Maybe because it was a one off that’s why it was a turn on but I’m sure if it was a regular thing then it wouldn’t be and would be a concern.
During foreplay we’ve occasionally said about other people joining or watching etc I’m sure like a lot couple have done but never mentioned names or people close to us etc

Everyone is different in how they react to an event, hearing DW saying her exs name and asking him to “ fuck me harder” would definitely not turn me on, quite the opposite. I know people fantasise about other people ,when having sex , I’m sure she does and sure I do,and there’s nothing unusual about it but I really wouldn’t want to hear it said openly

I don’t think I’ve ever fantasised about someone else during sex. I’d find that really difficult/impossible to do even if I wanted to! When I’m having sex I’m thinking about the moment and literally nothing else.

if I was thinking about other things it would be a sign I was bored by the sex I think!

I'm often thinking about how I have had better sex in my life. Sometimes what I need to do after it's done. Possibly some work stuff etc., particularly if I have an important meeting the next day and need to land some key points.

each to their own but I'd be off. I don't think about someone else during the act and I'd expect the same

Oh dear!!

I'm often thinking about how I have had better sex in my life. - your partner is most likely thinking the same thing.

It doesn’t HAVE to mean she was thinking about her ex, I’d think if she was she would be aware and not slip.

My comment was more a reply to sadcafe saying everyone does it @JustStoppedByOnTheWayToTheShed

Maybe I'm naive but I think if you need to fantasise about someone else whilst having sex, you aren't with the right person.

When you're in that moment with someone you, maybe not love, but at least care deeply about... it should be about the two of you. If you're thinking about someone else you're essentially just using someone to ejaculate in. Or on.

Oops sorry, I meant that as a general comment but accidentally quoted you, Gymbunny. I’ll get myself out to the shed now…

Not sure I particularly said I need to fantasise about someone else , rather that people do, I believe surveys suggest it’s somewhere around 44% of people

I'll rephrase.... I think if you're fantasising about someone else whilst having sex, you aren't with the right person.

I mean, if you're fantasising about having sex with someone else (whilst having sex with your partner, literally inside her), there's some kind of reason why.

Not disagreeing that people do it. I've read the stats too. I just find it a bit shit.

Ha ha I think we’re just confusing each other!