Hip pain with sex

[beefrendly]

I need a little advice. Sorry this is a complex one. I have a wonderful wife, we have been married 20 years two grown up kids.
We have a great sex life 3-4 times a week when she doesn’t have her period
(she’s not into period sex ) we are both very busy people ( I could do every day ) she never initiates sex, we have a routine, she says she’s very happy with our sex life, She’s very vanilla, but I love that.

The trouble is she has had hip ligament pain for last 15 years, so it’s quite difficult for her to spread her legs wide for a long period of time ( sorry for being crude)
pain killers physio don’t work

we only do sex missionary which is fine,

when we do, we have to position pillows at either the side of her ( which is not really fifty shades of grey !!! or perhaps it is 🤣 pardon the pun)

Sex has to be quite mechanical back and forth ( with no jiggle) until I cum
she has never had an orgasm from vaginal intercourse probably because of this
We usually use a wand with her laying on her front ( more comfortable)
When I’m in the act I’m constantly worried about hurting her and am looking at her face to make sure that I don’t cause her pain
I sometimes use condoms to increase friction so I cum faster and that I’m not in her a long time hurting her ( she often wonders why as she has a very effective coil and thinks it’s a kink with me )

Because it plays on my mind with all the positioning and angst etc I take erectile dysfunction tablets daily
i did suggest one time doggy style ( we did it once in centerparcs changing cubicle it was such fun) but she prefers face to face
I love this lady dearly
Any suggestions

@beefrendly variety is the spice of life…like you’ve said..different places, away from home …doggie, standing , missionary many other ways..but do t over think it, it’s clear to me it’s affecting you, just be relaxed and enjoy when ever you can..mutual pleasure is so much more exhilarating!✊🏿

lt sounds as if all fours would be better for you, but if there is an insistence on missionary, l really don’t see away round it.

Aside from that l’ve never hear of condom use to make a man ejaculate faster.

But has she spoken to her GP about the pain? There is no need to go into the sex detail. But if something is hurting the body is telling you something is wrong.

When I had ligament pain during pregnancy I definitely found being on all 4 or lying on my side more comfortable than lying on my back

My advice is to keep doing what you're doing. You sound bloody wonderful and understanding.

I'd echo the advice to go talk to the GP. Your wife should not be in this pain, and it needs investigating.

Not many women have vaginal orgasms, so the hip pain may be nothing to do with that.

My advice would be to keep the communication open. Keep trying a whole load of different positions. Keep talking to her about them after you've tried them, and how comfy they are for her. Try to stop worrying about her being in pain, and trust her that she'll tell you if she is.

And keep being understanding and caring. You can't go wrong with that.

Have you thought of giving each other oral / handjob / other kinds of outercourse instead of vaginal sex? Would that give you a way of increasing variety without having to worry about positions? Might take the pressure and the worry off you too. Stress causing ED really takes the fun out of things.

I know it’s not face to face, but would she consider spooning? It’s a lot more intimate than doggy style and should be hip friendly