Slow fade and now no confidence

[CalmNewt]

I’ve been with him for five years, and even though we don’t live together and are about 45 minutes apart, our time together always felt really special.

Communication’s never been his strong point, and I’ve had a few times where I’d get the silent treatment after bringing things up. It wasn’t always bad, but the last six months have been tough—there’s been less time together, less thoughtfulness, less involvement in each other’s lives, and a lot less affection, both in and out of the bedroom.

For months now, I’ve been the one initiating everything, and it’s been one-sided. He’d just lie there, and I wouldn’t even be touched. I’ve tried bringing it up, but he always dismissed it, like it was just in my head.

It was never like this in the beginning and I know he's capable of it and is interested...just not with me anymore I guess?

Yesterday we had had a lovely evening and I thought maybe things would improve, but no—same thing. He got what he wanted, and my needs were completely ignored. When I brought it up later, he said he couldn’t be bothered and asked if I was demanding he have sex with me. I said no of course not. He said, “Why can’t we just hang out?”—which we’d already done all weekend.

It wouldn't matter so much to me if he showed any affection at all or explained why he wasn't interested (low libido or anything) but I'm just being made to feel like I'm a sex pest.

I felt really embarrassed as I was overly affectionate yesterday to try and make things better and he wouldn't even kiss me properly. And ultimately i was just made to feel like I have been asking for too much. Your mind obviously goes to places like he must no longer fancy me or find me attractive (but obviously attractive enough to get his end away) and my ego has definitely took a hit, so I left early yesterday to go home. Now he’s ended things and wants to just be friends going forward. I think he’s finally realised he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore and has finally got up the courage to end it.

This whole slow fade has been so painful, and honestly, it’s completely crushed my confidence so I've gone no contact.
Does anyone have any advice ?

How spineless of him that he ended it after you went home ! It looks like your gut instinct was right, for what ever reason, it wasn’t working for him anymore but he gaslit you making out it was your problem. It’s not unreasonable to want to have sex with you partner.

Don’t be friends with this man who wants to “ hang out”, sounds like what a teenager would say not a grown man!

Be kind to yourself, he clears the path for someone that deserves you!

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. There are a myriad of reasons why he may no longer be interested, but ultimately, it is what it is and he is no longer interested. He sounds selfish when it comes to pleasure too, so this is probably for the best even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. At the very least, it’s good that he ended it rather than you having to do that yourself too. As for your confidence, I completely understand what you mean. When I was younger my boyfriend broke up with me and said he no longer is attracted which hit me like a ton of bricks. My advice would be to learn to love yourself for who you are. I’m sure you look great, we’re all unique in our own way. Try to see the upside too, in that you now have the freedom to find someone (when you are ready) that is much better with sex and who doesn’t live far away

Thanks for your responses.
I think because it has been so gradual over time that it's slowly worn me down.
Now I just feel like I am so needy and demanding when literally I would be happy with just an unprompted hug. How sad is that.

It's over now, so I'll deal with that first and hopefully the rest will follow x

@CalmNewt hey , stay positive.He was no good for you , you re the beautiful soul , he will realise that in future. As for the lack of appreciation and intimacy to you, his problem not yours! You went above n beyond, but if there’s no life in him, he s got issues! Maybe he tried to slowly destry yiur confidence and self esteem? You’re better without him ✊🏿