Bf gets himself hard before sex?

[newgirl8487]

I’m in a new relationship and have noticed that recently my new bf tends to like to get himself hard before sex - isn’t too interested in me giving a hand job although when we have more time I give bjs etc. he seems to like to get himself semi hard before getting harder inside me. He will sort of kiss me, rub up against me, very quickly stroke himself (a matter of seconds) and then penetrate me.

The sex is still passionate eg with kissing and eye contact etc I just wonder if it’s a bit weird as other men have spent more time on foreplay got hard from my hand jobs. Sometimes he is hard enough for sex without any touch and seems keen to get to the main event.

is it just different styles or does he not fancy me/enjoy my touch?

we had sex last night and again this morning and he came quickly both times so he must enjoy it to some extent?

He's very self centred and selfish imo. If I had a girlfriend like you I'd draw out the foreplay as long as possible. There's nothing better than having your girlfriend help you get hard and ready to go in when she wants it. My ex would ask me after quite some time on making sure she's had a handful of orgasms 'do you want to out it inside me now?' Of course, but I had been so focused on her pleasure I was soft so needed some help that she gladly did. Divorced after 25 years because she went off me or sex or both. Never did get to the botom of it. Your please must come first because imo a woman's arousal and pleasure starts with stimulating sexual talk/dirty talk if you want it, but kissing and caressing your ears, lips, neck, shoulders, breasts/nipples....and downwards

Maybe he's had issues with maintaining erections so is a bit worried? Either way, he's just getting himself ready for you...

He may be worried that he'll cum in your hands if he lets you play with him before piv. It's also possibly the opposite - a hand job that's a bit on the rough side can numb the sensitivity somewhat leading to a lack of sensation from piv. From what you've said about him cumming quickly, the former sounds more likely.

Some other possibilities (far less likely), are that he doesn't enjoy being the focus of attention during sex, or that he has an issue with sexual partners handling his junk.

He’s definitely got some ED.

if you want to give him a HJ etc maybe agree to do that rather than sex?

@Adidas105thats not true - I orgasm from PIV sex and he pleasured me with his fingers before intercourse once at the weekend.

@Gymbunny2025@myotheraccountsasorry for the naivity but how would getting himself hard relate to him maintaining erections or not? We did have one instance where it took him ages to cum but that seems to have been an isolated incident

Once at the weekend!? That all? Sad. Glad PIV gives you an orgasm and you're probably in a minority.

What's sad about them having sex once in 2 days? Some people have young kids, work and other things to do whilst still maintaining perfectly satisfactory sex lives. Plenty of women do have penetrative orgasms, too. In my experience they are the best type to experience when together with a partner as they're so satisfying and intense. Clitoral orgasms for me personally are for masturbation.
OP, if you're not happy with the amount of foreplay then you need to talk to him about it. It could be he's not confident and needs to be guided.

@GigiAnnnathank you, I don’t mind the amount of foreplay, it’s just curious to me that he will often focus on me before getting himself harder rather than it being me to do it.

@Adidas105not that it matters but we had sex twice at the weekend. We don’t get loads of time together and connect in other ways too

hi ,I’m sensing you d like your man to take time over foreplay etc…mutual stimulation etc etc…explore each others sexuality and pleasures, you need to work on intimacy that you both enjoy, that way you will experience far greater sexual pleasures….be bold experiment and tell him not to worry….✊🏿

Because if he's worried he won't be hard enough when ready, or that he might "go down" it makes sense he'd prep in advance...

He feels insecure, lack of confidence tht he will fail to please you…that will get worse unless he listens to you!✊🏿