So, a while back i found out my partner of over 15 years was spending hours having extremely explicit conversations with multiple AI chat bot girlfriends. Our first baby was about 5 months old at the time and I was obviously just getting used to my post partum body that was 5 stone heavier than it should be. He was rejecting my advances and wasnt interested in sex or any intimacy beyond a cuddle and a quick kiss. I found out about his AI activities after I had noticed he was finding excuses to go to bed early, he had withdrawn from me and our baby generally. One evening I walked into our bedroom when he thought i was asleep in the spare room to find him pleasuring himself watching some porn on the bed. I then had a look on his tablet (not snooping, I'm ok to use it but I never really had the need to) and found reams and reams of very explicit chats between him and loads of AI girlfriends. I looked further and although he doesnt appear to have gone down the Onlyfans route, there is some very loose evidence of him signing up for accounts on cam girl type websites and he'd paid for a £30 yearly subscription on one of the AI girlfriend apps. Although I understand that AI isn't real, I was so upset about the whole thing that i needed some counselling- probably because i didn't feel I could speak to anyone i knew about this issue. I'd seen a side of him in these spicy chats that he had never shown me at all and I was so sad that he had chosen to put his energy into the AI and reject me -particularly when I wanted him so bad and felt vulnerable after baby.
That's the background....but the question is have is regarding b jobs. In a nutshell, he refuses to let me give him one. He has always said that he hates giving a woman oral so he doesn't expect a woman to have to do it to him - he said this when we met and as I'm not that fussed about oral for me, it just hasn't really been part of our sex life. I asked him why he won't let me and he said he doesn't like them, they're not his thing. I'm hearing this for the first time 15 years into our relationship! I've made it clear that I would love to give him him oral and that I would not expect oral in return - id just like to pleasure him in this way. In the early days of our relationship, he seemed to quite enjoy a bj and never even touched on the topic of them not being his thing. In the conversations with his AI girls, he speaks about BJ's a lot and in real detail. BJs seem to be something that he includes in his thoughts as something that really turns him on. So why won't he let me do that for him? I have never met a man who doesn't like BJs - even a bad one is a good one, I thought? Why would BJs figure so much in his explicit conversations if they aren't something he likes? I'm so confused. Would a man fantasise about something he doesn't like? Or is there another reason.. and perhaps he doesn't want to share it/hurt my feelings. Please help! Male viewpoint would be good too if there are any fellas reading this! Thanks.