Is this a sex addition?

[Mumoftwogirlies2025]

So I am a female age 35, have generally always been in relationships since age of 14 (I know started young). But I have never been single for longer than about 3-4 weeks and always struggled if not being sexually active. Currently with partner of 6 months and if it gets to 2-3 days without sex I am really frustrated and get very moody. Never used to struggle as ex always matched my drive in the bedroom but new partner is happy to go without for a few days and also struggles with ED. Do I need help or is this healthy?

@Mumoftwogirlies2025 Everyone is different, and people are different at different ages too. Enjoy and make the most of your high drive now. It may not always stay that way. There are no rights or wrongs here, unless it is impacting your day to day life x

You may just have a high sex drive. There's nothing wrong with that as above poster said, as long as it's not impacting on you negatively. Is it possible some of your frustration may be actually hostility towards your partner's ED? If the frustration you're feeling is purely about having a release, could it be helped by masturbation? If it's more complex then there's probably another cause beyond sex addiction in itself. As you have never really been single, maybe there's some kind of fear of being alone or needing validation from a partner.

sounds normal to me. I’m like you never really been single.

how old is your partner that has ED?! At 34 you should not have to deal with that!! I’d walk away personally unless you want a lifetime of frustration (plus it’s not really fair taking it out on him. Kinder just to end things)

I do find I have to use masturbation a lot which I do find a bit embarrassing with my partner. I do wonder if I have a fear of being alone as I remember being a student in a large house on my own and someone broke into it and I was in a state of shock at the time.

My partner is 35 so same age as me. He is currently waiting for a referral with the GP to come back through. He doesn't have a problem getting it up it's just sometimes it goes mid way through but then other times it's fine. He has also been told from previous bloods he has low testosterone levels. We get on so well but I exercise quite a lot whereas he doesn't seem bothered about that. Also our eating habits are world's apart, it worries me for the longer term.

@Mumoftwogirlies2025 It sounds as though he is willing to work on the situation with you, which is positive. Exercise and diet will have a big impact on his erectile heath and you need to emphasise this to him, i assume you have made clear to him how important this is to you? How it is affecting you? What would you say is the impact on you not just that you feel the need to masturbate more, I am thinking more emotionally and mentally?
You need to think about what you want from life with this man and what is important to your happiness and mental health. Don't feel wrong or guilty for feeling unhappy or upset over the challenges in meeting your needs. It is just a situation that has happened and it is not your fault. Or his really, you need to decide if it is something you can tolerate while you work on resolving it, give yourself realistic sensible timelines and evaluate his efforts to keep progressing.
From the way you worded your post it implies you always masturbate in his presence? Or is it a mix of alone and together? What is his reaction when with him? How satisfying is the masturbation to your needs compared to sex?
That break-in sounds very scary and traumatic. Have you had chance to talk and explore and accept your feelings around that?

@GarrynotsoGorilla yes I definitely think he is as he's mentioned having other partners in the past and not seeking help then. Maybe haven't but should do but I feel that he jokes a lot of the time about it as a way of coping so all I can do is encourage improvements really.
I think because in previous relationships it has never been an issue whereas now it is, it's taking over a little bit and mentally it feels quite draining to the point where I sometimes get anxious about going to bed. I think if things don't improve within the next year or so then I'll definitely have to reevaluate things but I want to give it a chance to. It is hard because we are so new I don't know what the future looks like and also don't want to make any rash decisions too prematurely.
It is a mix of alone and together but he generally doesn't get involved if together. He normally reacts as though nothing has happened. I would say no where near as satisfying and I find toys a bit of a gimic because it's the closeness and intimacy I enjoy about it.
Yes I have done, if I am home alone and it's late, I usually get quite anxious as we do live in a fairly rough area but I am rarely in late by myself.

@Mumoftwogirlies2025 You are being very positive and understanding of this. I'm sorry to hear how this is making you anxious around bedtime - i completely understand and it is important that you make sure that ths doesn't become overwhelming for you.
I find it strange that he doesn't engage with you at all as you self pleasure with him. Personally i would be watching, kissing cuddling touching and tasting too as a minimum.
Completely understand the toy situation, it is the closeness and intimacy that sex brings which is the valuable part of the connection. Sorry to hear that you don't feel as safe as you should where you live that is an awful feeling. I hope in time you get to move somewhere safer x

I think this is a problem with the relationship and not with you.
Mismatched libidos - whether it involves ED or not - will make you less compatible as time goes on.. given your young ages now.
The fact that he hasn’t dealt with the issue before also sends a red flag up.