Do you think more men are into the idea of sharing their partners than used to be the case?

[ThatDreamyOchreWasp]

DH is, and doesn't know where the idea came from!

It really does sound great.
Someone to make you feel things you haven't felt in a long time.

I think when we've discussed it, for me its been an enhancement for us both. I'm lucky that i've not wanted to do this to get feelings back as OH is still very fine!

Actually, that's very similar to how I feel. It's not to replace anything, it's just a naughty thing to try as a couple? I don't feel it's something to get feelings back, for us, at least?

I'm probably viewing it differently then.
For me, he won't discuss it.

He sees it as cheating or him not being enough.
I'm more into seeing him with someone else with the potential for a threesome etc.
Relationships are tough.

Possibly.

Although I do think it needs a rock solid relationship and understanding and for us that's the only reason that i've been able to do 'things' (not very many at all) and it be ok.

It's great that it's working for you.
I may try to broach the subject again.

Wish me luck. 🤣

Have you done this in the past whilst in a relationship with him?

No.

There's been infidelity on his part which is possibly clouding my judgement on a fair few things.

It's an interesting topic, there's a lot of responses blaming porn for shaping men's fantasies and other responses stating that this was common before porn was.

Personally, I believe that most men are capable of having this fantasy and it's just a matter of them having particular experiences to trigger it. Porn could be one of those triggers but I think the natural triggers are becoming less likely to be experienced as we become more "online" and less sociable as a society.

In my teenage years, I personally triggered this in at least 3 guys that I know of. They were dead against the idea before, had no desire for it at all. When faced with a particular situation they suddenly felt feelings and arousal they had never experienced before or thought possible. Their faces went blank, they went silent and offered no resistance to the situation. It's like they were in some sort of trance, hugely aroused and wanting to see what their girlfriend was capable of.
Afterward was confusing for them, trying to make sense of it all but there was no bad feelings, if anything it made everything closer/stronger/better.

I also think there's a subset of guys that are turned on by the concept but rationalise it that it's only a turn on if it's "someone else's wife" and that if it was their own wife it couldn't possibly be a turn on. I know a few guys that were in this category and eventually found out that it's actually even more erotic when it's their own wife.

From what I understand from men I've known into sharing it is the potential for losing the partner to another, via feelings or sexual adequacy/compatibility, is a hge part of the excitement. Some people find it hard to lead a confortable life, they need risk, potentially losing their partner is one such risk.

I think it's fairly niche to want to put that much risk into a relationship, even a rock solid one, but from the experiences spoken about on this thread, it works for some people.

I think various websites have made it much easier to arrange which helps. Many years ago I watched my wife with several other men, sometimes it was just a kiss at a bar and sometimes it was a weekend of the 3 of us in hotel rooms or somewhere in between, each time it was pure chance of meeting a guy who wanted to be involved, the internet has made it much easier.

Although she has no regrets her general declining libido means she isn’t fussed about doing it again, very frustrating for me!