My DH can't compare to my dildo :(

[wellerchoked]

Hey,

So mine and my husband's sex life has always been pretty good, but over the last year he has been travelling a lot for work and I decided to get something to keep me entertained while he was away. I told him, so it's like it's a secret or anything.

I got a 9 inch dildo, as I'd never tried anything that large before. Husband is about 6 inches, and tbh I have always been curious

Well, safe to say that, after a lot of perseverance, I have become rather accustomed to the pleasure of this thing. I'm not saying sex with my husband is now terrible, but it isn't the same. It's got to the extent where I've been fantasising about having the real thing.

Has anyone had this problem? Should I be honest with him? Explore opening us up? I don't think I've had orgasms like this ever!

Any help would be good!

I think that's the whole idea with dildos. They're larger than life. She has an 9 inch one and cums everytime with that. My paltry six inch cock can't compete!

You could tactfully ask him if he'd consider wearing a penis extension. I think they do 3" length + girth.

For him he won't feel anything during sex other than the joy of hearing you orgasm with him!

It's how you approach the subject and how you treat him after that will be the difficult parts to manage. Good luck!

What I would say is that opening up your marriage is quite a big step and pretty much irreversible.

I think you should bring it up with him. After all what man wouldn't want to support his wife while she shags a guy with a bigger dick?

On a more serious note only you know him and how he may react. But as a pp said, as you can't put that one back the box.

Leave him if you want to. But it's a bit late in the day to be moaning about his dick size.

How would you feel if he said masturbating with his Fleshlight was better than sex with you?

I definitely wouldn't tell my husband that a hunk of silicone felt better than having sex with him.

Seems like you've opened Pandora's box now though.

Personally if I was you I'd keep enjoying intimate sex with my husband, and keep my massive dildo for myself from time to time.

Have you suggested the idea of your partner using a sleeve?
I’ve used one in the past with an ex who loved men on the very larger size and it helped massively (no pun intended 😂)
If you do make sure that it’s only on occasions though as the last thing you will want is for your partner to think he’s inadequate in that department.
Maybe try other positions where you get to feel him deeper inside you and that might help you and also spice things up a little

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I am going to speak to him in the next few days and approach it delicately. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I also need those orgasms so maybe a sleeve is the best option.

Has anyone spoke to their husband about their penis size and how did you do it?

You know him best.. as tactfully as possible, I'd imagine.

You should probably start with something like this:
"Darling, you know how you've only got an average sized dick? Well, I don't want you to feel inadequate about this, and it really shouldn't undermine what I've always said about you being man-enough to satisfy me sexually, but you know that dido I've been using while you're away? Yeah, the one that's about 50% bigger than your dick. Well it turns out I can get off on that way better than when you're thrusting away with your tiddler. Any chance you could slip this lump of plastic on so I can actually get some pleasure out of sex?"

LOL. I don't think that would go down well. Even if it's true.

I think you might find @mnmnddddd was being sarcastic.

The whole idea of someone telling their DH they prefer a 9' plastic dildo to their 6' ( larger than average) penis is quite frankly insulting.

As mentioned previously, pretty sure if your DH told you he preferred his new fleshlight because it was tighter than yours , you'd be pretty insulted....

If it's any help- our conversation started while we were watching porn. She was fascinated by the size of the men, I joked they were probably prosthetic, and she confessed a fantasy to re-enact the scenes. It was a very open discussion and I made the purchase.

do you not mind the extra inches she likes etc?

No, she never had a problem reaching orgasm with me anyway. It was just a fantasy of size for her. I'm glad I did as it was fun to experience it.

Has he seen it (rather than just know you have one)? Can you use it with him? If he sees how much pleasure it brings you it may be an easy way to open up the conversation?

I think if it was me I’d probably keep it as my ‘treat’ to myself when he was travelling though. I like 6 inches and I like real. I’d be sad if I wanted to replace that with plastic

I would just ask if he wants to watch you use it. My DH loves watching me use one. The bigger the better. I’d still rather prefer him to something artificial.

There’s no diplomatic way to put this to him other than making it something he might enjoy. I bet he would love to watch you give yourself orgasms.

However big this dildo may be, I’m surprised you prefer it to the real thing. A real penis is more than just its size.

Be careful you don’t destabilise your relationship for a piece of plastic.

And penis sleeves are bloody horrible. Both times we used one it gave me a UTI, the only two times I’ve ever had one.

Wow @wellerchoked
your vagina might be 9 inches deep but you’re certainly pretty damned shallow!

By all means enjoy your dildo- but to consider opening up” your marriage in pursuit of a huge dick??? Really?

Why can’t you just ask your husband to use the dildo on you during sex and you can have your orgasms with it AND him and then he can orgasm in or on you afterwards?

If that was me I would be pretty gutted. I would feel a bit inadequate, and that worry could easily lead to erectile disfunction and I would worry I am not able to please you. It's a fantasy, keep it at that.

What if he said your boobs are too big/small, or you were too baggy down there, would that bother you? I think for many it would. My partners have never been 'perfect' but I would rather have sex with someone not 'perfect' who I love and respect than a fumble with someone who is 'perfect' but no connection.

I would actually be tempted to bin the dildo. Its a bit like porn - its giving a false impression of sex and causing (potentially) issues in the same way porn can

What a great way to absolutely crush his self esteem and make him feel inadequate.

I mean yeah OP tell him his dick doesn't measure up to your plastic dildo.

What could possibly go wrong? 🙄

Tbf to OP her fantasy does seem to be a pretty common one! And there are lots couples who accommodate this (through dildos, sleeves, opening up marriage). I know a guy who uses fab (in his 50s) and he complained that every woman on there around his age seems to be looking for exactly what op is so he stood no chance!

Im not saying I’d be into it, but I also don’t think discussing fantasies and exploration is necessarily as shallow as is being made out.

of course there is the potential for hurt so it needs to be approached very cautiously. And if I was her I wouldn’t push it if he didn’t engage with the conversation

I don't know about this... I'm very much fond of the human attached to my DH's penis. A dildo can't compare.

Do you actually have orgasms during sex with your husband (I don't just mean PIV, I mean during the whole encounter)?