Worried about STI

[Oreocake24]

Hi ladies

I never have one night stands however, I’ve been single around a year, met a guy last night went for a few drinks, got on well, really liked each other so went back to his. One thing lead to another and obviously we did the deed..

wasn’t too fussed and then this afternoon I’ve been panicking about STD’s not something I’ve had to think of for the last 8 years with Ex partner.

we used a condom, and there was no oral either way. He didn’t actually ejaculate but I know you can get STD’s regardless.

I suppose I’m worried that the condom might not have gone on properly initially, or that he could have touched his area and then mine and spread something, or worse genital warts etc. When I asked him if he’s had anything or been tested recently, he said his last sexual encounter was 10 months ago, he was tested, and all clear.

i really am making this worse in my own head. I’ve just ordered an STD test but I can’t tell if I’m over thinking or within my rights to panic. I know people will say I should have thought about this before sleeping with him, but I suppose I was just trying to be a bit more care free and enjoy my life.

thank you

There's no need to panic. Book an appointment with the sexual health clinic and get all the tests done. That will give you peace of mind.

You’ve done nothing wrong my lovely, and it sounds like you responsibly used a condom and had a grown up chat about STIs. You couldn’t have done more. A test will help put your mind at rest.

Thanks so much. My local clinic send kits out so I’ve ordered one and will do asap.

I feel I took all the right precautions I just can’t help but worry now. Feel totally silly for allowing myself get in this position in my 30s!

Thank you so much. I know there’s things I can’t prevent such a genital warts and things of the like, I just can’t help but panic and worry. I think because I don’t usually do it

A year ago neither did I! It’s a calculated risk, but I feel so much more whole and happy for having a sex life. That means managing the risk xx

I wouldn't do the kit tests, I'd go to your local sexual health clinic and have a full test as the kit tests only test for chlamydia and gonorrhea I think, though I may be wrong. If you used a condom it's unlikely that you picked something up but if you're going to be worried then it's worth it for your peace of mind.

Really, that’s so reassuring. How do you manage the risk? Just purely by being safe with condoms and tests? Xx

Thank you for replying. The home kits now include HIV and Syphillis! X

Thanks to those who replied. Am I over reacting here? I practised safe sex but still can’t help but worry.

I don’t think I’m someone who can have one nights stands.

What more could you do other than use a condom, ask about their most recent test, and get yourself tested regularly? That’s what most people with non-monogamous active sex lives do. That’s what I do and I’ve never had an STI.

You’re worrying unnecessarily.

Many home kits test for Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, HIV and Hep.

Even so, I'd worry I'd not done it properly myself, particularly for HIV. Would that require taking your own blood? There's also other STDs beyond those, eg syphilis.

@PinotPony - thank you so much. Can I ask, do you not worry about the other issues you could catch such as warts, herpes etc. I can’t help but feel worried about I wouldn’t have spotted the signs of those things. I appreciate however that wearing a condom still mitigates the risk.

@GigiAnnna - as for syphillis you can test yourself with the home kits. You take your own bloods with a finger prick. there’s not much more a clinic will test for if you have no symptoms.

Yes, it’s very easy to do the tests at home. A few swabs and a blood test.

The blood test is best done after a hot shower and whilst standing up with the arm lower than the heart. If the finger prick stops bleeding, I do some star jumps to get it going again!

Takes about half an hour, pop it in the post and get a text with results a couple of weeks later. If any samples are unfit for testing, they’ll tell you and send a new pack out.

I test 3 or 4 times a year.

@Oreocake24You can’t test for herpes and HPV in regular STI tests. Condoms mitigate the risk but don’t avoid it entirely.

I guess it comes down to your assessment of risk. If you’re having sex, you’re at risk of catching something, even in a monogamous long term relationship. Having casual sex or sex with multiple partners obviously increases the risk.

I balance my understanding of the risks I’m taking with my enjoyment of a fulfilling sex life.

The guy you slept with sounds like he takes his sexual health seriously. In my experience, people who test regularly and use condoms aren’t the ones you need to worry about.

@PinotPony thank you so much. That’s true I suppose about it being a calculated risk. The guy was lovely and really good at reassuring me that his last test was all clear. I said no to condomless sex and he did buy some more because he wasn’t sure how old his were, so I can only assume he’s a half sensible guy.

I think I feel worse because it was a one night stand.

im definitely over thinking everything because of that reason so just going to think that I had fun and enjoyed myself so need to move on from the fears!

Condoms, tests and a friend knowing where I am going. Take care of you and enjoy the freedom x

@NinaOakley I really love this mentality. Maybe I need to be a bit more care free.. far too high strung!

I have to say I’m a bit like you OP and catching genital warts or herpes would really really worry me. Such a shame condoms don’t protect against these. And also that the virus is with you for life then. Does the HPV vaccine girls are now offered? Does anyone know?

Does it offer protection I mean

@Gymbunny2025 i believe the vaccine does protect against.

HPV and herpes are two completely different infections. An HPV vaccine won’t offer any protection against herpes simplex virus, if that’s what you’re asking.

Also, don't forget that infections won't necessarily show up on tests straight away. There's such things as 'window periods' and 'incubation periods'! Tests that rely on antibodies, for example might take a while to yield a positive result because the microbe has to set up home in the body and then the body has to start generating an immune response. Tests that detect the microbe directly can give positive results more quickly after exposure, but even so it can take a little while for the microbe (I'm using the term loosely to include viruses) to become established in the body in sufficient quantities to show up. So waiting a while might be useful.

However, as others have said, the overwhelming likelihood is that the OP hasn't picked anything up!

@Oreocake24

There is a website of the NHS which shows the number of infections in UK of the various types. The numbers are quite low bearing in mind that there must be some 15 million sexually active people [??] of each sex.

You surely took all the right precautions and must be at very very low risk