How to give a good BJ

[kitkat2024]

I am not very confident with giving BJs, I am not sure why. I have a new partner and want to please him; he has cum from a BJ I have given him before but, I dunno, I feel like I could be more confident and certain in what I am doing rather than just bobbing up and down. And what am I supposed to do with the foreskin? Do I have to deepthroat? I am probably overthinking this but does anyone have any tips?

Please don’t overthink it, if you have made him cum from one of your BJ’s you are doing something right. It sounds like it’s something you want to do and that is so much sexier than just doing it because he’s asked about it. So relax, you’re doing a great job and don’t take it too seriously. He’ll tell you if he wants you to do something different. When it comes to the foreskin, once it’s back it shouldn’t be an issue and remember licking the tip like a lollipop is always a nice bonus.

Always pull the foreskin back firmly to expose the sensitive bits. Lots of eye contact. For bonus marks be very verbally explicit about how much you love doing it and how big and beautiful it is.

Be confident. Fake confidence is fine. ✔️

If you can deepthroat then do that but very few can. Definitely optional.

He's lucky you care enough to ask.

Good luck.

Don't bite! 🥶

Thanks guys! I will take your advice on board. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

No need for luck, you want to do it and are looking for advice to do an even better job of it. Just have fun with it, if you enjoy it, he’ll see that and that makes it even better.

I think do what you enjoy or comes naturally? If you are getting pleasure he definitely will! I don’t think there is one good technique- different men like different things. Try and explore what little things he likes. Also don’t forget your tongue! And maybe invite him to thrust if you feel comfortable with that? The eye contact thing I can’t do! I don’t get the angles involved 😂

The biggest turn on from a guys pov is confidence. Take control and look like you are enjoying yourself. That’s the best advice I can give.

Remember everyone is different, and both men and women like different things when it comes to sex. What might have worked for one partner might not work for another.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking him what he likes - but you absolutely do not have to do anything which you are not comfortable in doing!

Hi op couldn’t pass this by as a ball man without bringing them to your attention. I’d never really gave them much thought until I met an exponent of ball pleasure and it changed my life.

Current partner requires them hair free and sparkling which isn’t a problem. Maybe worth considering if it’s not in your repertoire already.

other pointers:
confidence
enthusiasm
Mutual pleasure.
Flavourless lube

I love giving DH a BJ. Enthusiasm counts for a lot!! I ask what he likes and use my lips, tongue, mouth, and hands. You can try different positions (him sitting/standing/lying down, your head over the bed, 69). I don’t really do anything with his foreskin, maybe gently retract it with my hand if needed. When I want DH to orgasm, I find a predictable/constant rhythm and pressure are important. Of course you don’t have to deepthroat. I tend to put my hands on DH hips if I need to control the depth but I’m happy for him to hold the back of my head if I’m comfortable.

Men aren't all the same and don't all like their bjs the same way. Some like their foreskin pulled back and some don't; some like slow, some like vigorous. So, experiment gently, see how he reacts, ask him if he likes it when you concentrate on his frenulum/lick his balls/go deeper/just suck the glans. Smile while you ask him, and when he can't speak you'll know that you're on the money

Men talk about ‘confidence’ a lot. Finding it attractive etc. in terms of a BJ… what does confidence actually mean?! So many have mentioned it!

In short, think ice lolly! Personally, l tend to go “hands free”. You certainly don’t need to deep throat. It is not comfortable and sex should be a pleasant experience.

lt also sounds as if you are achieving excellence anyway, so there is no need to overthink.

@Gymbunny2025

For me it’s simply that there in nothing worse than a tentative BJ. There are many times when I’ve politely moved on from a BJ as I could tell it wasn’t for them in that moment. A long term partner I’d obviously mention my likes.

Someone who actively enjoys oral or on that day is in the zone will exude some amount of confidence which is so hot. Some have over compensated and it’s a bit performative. Genuine confidence and enthusiasm is amazing . I don’t always expect it every time from the same woman as we’re all not always on our A game.

The woman in my op was a master she liked BJ’s and knew that she was good and was proud of her skills She was very much like “I am going to ruin you for everyone else after “ lol She certainly installed herself into my memories x

@2Boiledeggsi agree with that. For me too enthusiastic oral is so sexy. I wouldn’t want a guy going through the motions! And performative sex… yuck!

I wholeheartedly agree with the enthusiasm sentiment, I think it goes for all elements of sex to be honest - enthusiasm, curiosity and a desire to please your partner, all of which you appear to have OP!

I also echo that we are all different, I remember being a uni student and having my foreskin pulled back - I hate the sensation or direct contact under it, it makes me very uncomfortable.

I personally haven't received or given oral in a couple of decades, it was one of those things DW felt she should do and I quickly moved the focus elsewhere as if we don't both enjoy it then I can't enjoy it. I'd love to give more and I'm very insecure about my lack of skill, but again, I'm not going to pester to do something for my needs when she's already said she doesn't want to go there more than once.

I agree that all of us men are different, but for me a BJ is all about the mouth. Hands can be used to caress the balls and scrotum, but are best kept away from the shaft IMHO.

If you are able to deepthroat, then that is a huge bonus for me, but if you not comfortable then don't do it.

Another critical aspect for me, and one that has not been mentioned, is where to finish. I am very much a fan of cumming in the mouth and my semen being swallowed. Again, if you are not comfortable with that it is OK not to. If I do get to cum in a woman's mouth, I absolutely adore a cum-swap session immediately afterwards.

Put all those things together, and for me that is the perfect BJ.

Thank you everyone for your advice and encouragement 😀

Nobody suggesting "Hawk tuah"? Sorry, couldn't resist.

For me the best blowjobs I’ve had have been when the woman is really into it and enjoys it, I love eye contact but not constant as that can be weird 😂, don’t neglect the balls either. I love when my balls are being played with and licked or sucked and the shaft being licked aswell. Deepthroat can be amazing but I’ve always found not many women like to do it or they can’t do it.

I'm not entirely sure.

Part of my pleasure in receiving a BJ is knowing that my wife is receiving pleasure from giving it. If I moan particularly loudly or say something like 'that's really good' she will give me a little tap of acknowledgement. She's very open about how much she enjoys giving me BJs (as I do in returning the pleasure).

Perhaps this is what other men are alluding to.

My recent experience has been limited but I always thought I gave a good BJ. Start with hands, tease with mouth around the area. Lots of words to say how much I wanted it, then tongues all over the shaft, teasing the head with my tongue. Slowly bring it into your mouth, gentle and slow motion at first, working with foreskin at first before pulling it back. Lots of eye contact and enthusiastic noises and a consistent rythym

My favourite move is to take him as deep as I can, and then hold him there, while half swallowing. Play with the balls. I can make DP cum without moving anything but my throat. Sometimes very slow is good - lick, touch, kiss and do anything but take it in, then when you do it’ll be fab. Moaning while he is deep inside can be very good as it feels great. Check if he likes his balls played with /sucked - some do some don’t. Ditto further back and potentially arse and prostate massage.
And have fun!

Wow @OrlandointheWilderness , that sounds incredible, your DP is a lucky guy!

Well he doesn’t seem to be complaining, given it’s my absolute favourite thing to do and he gets about 4 a week 😂

So jealous, on multiple levels 😅🙈