Daughter was offered a role in adult movie

[aliahb]

She was recently offered a role in an adult movie after an agent saw her on TikTok. She is contemplating doing it but I'm worried at her age she's not thinking straight and is setting herself up for failure as ones it out there it will be there forever. She recently passed her Medical degree and is saying she doesn't want to pursue it. How can I talk to her about it?

Noooooo, seriously bad idea. As you say, once it's done it will be out there forever. Very few people ever make the move from adult movies to mainstream movies. She's likely to be stuck in the world of porn, with expectations of escalating extreme and degrading content. If she later tries to get back into medicine or another more mainstream career, her past will follow her and clips will be visible to future colleagues.

It's such a sad reflection on our culture that a bright girl with a medical degree sees this as a viable and attractive option.

You might not be the best person to advise her. Parents can come across as over protective and morally judgemental. …but I do agree it would be a very ill-advised course of action that could come back to haunt her. Is there someone she would respect who could give her some advice?

Being flattered to be approached on Tik Tok is not the same thing as making a positive proactive choice to enter the adult entertainment industry. At the very least she needs to verify the credentials of whoever asked her.

I had a heart to heart with a talented protege twenty years ago. She was pretty with a great figure and wanted a portfolio career - Finance Director and nude model.
Very intelligent, she considered it hugely unfair that that Board members may not view her using her obvious talents as being entirely separate to her wide array of professional qualifications and excellent work.
There are adult actors with medical qualifications, but usually it's a career pursued in retirement, often as a result of experience of exploitation.

She won't listen to anyone apart from me unfortunately

get her to watch exposed on Amazon prime.

it’s only a 5/10 but it’s about a 19 yr old who gets into the porn industry and although she makes shit loads of money, she effectively ruins her life.

an awdul lot of actresses get into porn to pay off student loans , often when they are studying law or medicine so it’s a lot more common than people think, and probably a little more accepted as well now a days but no parent wants to know their daughter is having sex for a living.

It's what I've said. She doesn't actually have debts as me and her dad funded her full education

It's great she's told you- you must have a good relationship with her. If it was me I'd suggest speaking to her university/medical school about long term career implications. You could offer to go with her? As pp said it's not uncommon these days so I'm sure they will have some support available for her

She wouldn't speak to her uni about it. She says the stress is too much of her pursuing medical career

I thought you were very pro porn! All the actresses are someone's daughter!

Maybe she's feeling worried about not having a career path if she no longer wants to be a doctor? Again her university could help here.

She said the money is too good to turn down also. The agent has offered her a multi movie deal

Sounds like she's being scammed. I'd report to police

Report for what exactly. He's given her a written contract

Haha I’m definitely not pro porn, i’m just not anti porn and I’m quite careful/selective in what I watch.

And of course they are all someone’s daughter, but it’s very different when it’s your own.

@aliahb I’d be very wary of an ‘agent’ who has ‘headhunted’ her off the back of a TikTok video. This seems dodgy at best and at worst could be absolutely horrific.

I've asked her to let me speak to the agent. She's reluctant

@smithey855 I'll remind you of that next time you are eye rolling about some women on mumsnet being anti porn!

Why what did he say

I’m no expert on the adult film industry but I’d be very sceptical about her being offered a multi film deal without (presumably) having done a screen test or similar.

If she really wants to pursue it at least try to do dig into who is involved and get a lawyer to look over the contract etc. Also try to verify whether the money offered is realistic for a newcomer to the industry. As I understand it porn pays quite well but not life changing amounts for a few films - I read c£1000 for one scene average though I’m sure there’s huge variation.

And also try to dig into whether this is really about money for her. Because if it is it probably doesn’t make sense. She might make good money in porn for a few years if she’s lucky (and willing to do extreme acts which pay more). But that’s going to be very unreliable and short lived and potentially affect her ability to pursue a different career in future (partially due to the stigma but also because she will have lost key years where she could have been pursuing medicine or anything else).

I’d never eye roll because a women is anti porn - that’s their prerogative and absolutely fine.

i might eye roll however when a women either says her partner doesn’t watch porn ( as nearly all men do IMO ) or, when they ban them from watching porn ( because they’ll almost certainly do it anyway)

@Circe7 i agree with your point re the agent, you’ve echoed my thoughts that it seemed dodgy.

your £1k a scene is way out though, it’s a lot less than that - it’s been well documented that Mia Khalifa, who was the most searched porn star for 5 years ( I think ) on porn hub made £10k in total. And doesn’t receive a penny in royalties.

she now presents American football and also makes around $6m a MONTH on her OF channel…

Wise words here ^
A former porn actress outlined the career path of newbie novelty, mundane output in search of a following, more extreme work and ending with fans wanting to see some element of suffering inflicted on someone who was 'past it'.
The reality, I'm sure is similar to being a bricklayer or other hard physical role - some folks physiology can take it, others wear out faster.
Others may be able to shed light on how to keep some element of anonymity - though being on fb or tik tok probably means AI can find you.
A surprisingly large number of actors and models give a lot of information away by having Limited Companies in the name of their professional identity - but being a director and sharing their 'real' name and home address on the Companies House website.

What kind of agent offers an unproved actress a multi-film deal? I would be very wary of what is on offer, irrespective of any repercussions on her future life and career. The porn industry has lots of characters who promise to get people a role in films, shoot a casting couch type of movie with their protege, and then never take their calls again.

Tell her to get legal advice as a minimum before she even considers signing that contract!

It sounds like a really difficult and emotional situation, and I completely understand your concerns. I think for most people, this kind of decision triggers a very strong gut reaction—either an immediate "no, never" or an immediate "yes." Unfortunately, if her initial reaction wasn’t a firm no, she’s probably already decided to do it and is just trying to justify it to herself and to you. At this point, it’s less about helping her make the decision and more about convincing her that she’s making the wrong one.

One of the most important things you can do is thoroughly investigate the person making this offer. It sounds incredibly shady, and there are a lot of predatory agents in that industry. If she is genuinely considering it, she needs to be fully aware of the risks—both in terms of exploitation and how this could impact her future.

I’d also strongly encourage her to watch interviews with former adult film stars who have spoken about the long-term consequences—both mental and physical. Many regret their involvement in the industry, and hearing their experiences firsthand might open her eyes to the reality of what she’s getting into.

Most importantly, she needs to truly understand that once these videos are out there, they are permanent. They will follow her for life, affecting her professional opportunities, personal relationships, and future family. It’s very unlikely that she will find a long-term partner who is ok being with someone that has this as part of her history, and that’s something she needs to seriously consider.

Agreed. It’s like the Monica Lewinsky Effect. No, she wasn’t in adult films, but she has given interviews about how people have said about her, “Can you imagine bringing Monica Lewinsky home to your parents???” She has also been open about the fact that she has had hundreds of job interviews, but has never been offered a job. What she took part in in her early 20s will stay with her forever, and it has meant that she never got married and is unemployable, apart from self-employment ventures.

In addition to the other good arguments against doing this, you’ll never get security clearance, much less pass any more demanding personnel vetting, if you’ve let film of yourself fucking be mad public on the web.

Also, it’s so obviously a scam it’s not funny.