Promiscuity

[LilyAnn13]

I previously lead a promiscuous life and now, in my early 50s, I can count 60 to 70 men.
Is that normal?

I don't think there is a "normal" is there? But more than most probably.

I dislike the use of the words "normal" and "promiscuous" in this context. What do they mean?
It matters not one iota how many men you have had sex with in comparison to other women on here.
Why should it?

Anyway, to put it in a different context, if someone first had sex at the age of eighteen and was now in their early fifties, they would be sexually active for about 35 years. So to have had sex with 70 men in those 35 years averages out at 2 per year.

It’s difficult to put a number on it isn’t it
if one person is happy, sexually then one is normal.
Im a little older than you and am in the same range of no. of intimate partners but I wasn’t happy in my short marriage and following it ending I went a little wild with a virtually captive male audience where I lived at that time and boy was I happy lol

Well it isn’t normal but I’m not sure why you are comparing your numbers to an average of a wider pool. Presumably because society ostensibly frowns upon multiple sexual partners but why does it matter? To me I’m not even in double figures (wish I was really) but would matter more with other factors as to whether it affected my profession or impacted my children

Why does it matter? The notion of promiscuity is so outdated now. It’s no longer a perceived indicator of morality.

I don’t think it matters how many people you’ve slept with, only the care and respect that you’ve afforded those people and yourself.

I went through a wild couple of years in my 20s, then settled into a long sexless marriage. In my 40s, I’ve rediscovered my sexuality and have no issue seeking out people to explore with, although I’m now a lot more discerning than when I was young.

I stopped counting at 50.

OP, there is no “normal”. What matters is that you are happy.

l am well into double figures but didn’t keep a visitors book on my bedside table.

If you’re having the sex you want for the right reasons it doesn’t matter what number of people that is with.

We had an interesting conversation as one of our recently divorced friends who is currently expanding his numbers and was poking fun at a couple of our group who has only slept with 1/4 women.

One of these friends in particular has a very active sex life(men talk too) and I outlined that if he’d only slept with 2 women but have been together with current partner for 25+ yrs that he’d had more sex than any of us if sex was a measure not people.

He looked a bit crestfallen 😂

It really is a case of you do you and at 50 you could easily double your numbers if you so wish!!

I slept with quite a lot of men starting from my teens to my late 20s when I met my future husband DH and settled down. Sometimes a different guy every week, maybe even 2 or 3. I look back and can't understand why I bothered doing it with half of them. I didn't always enjoy the sex. If you're happy and taking care of your physical and mental health then I don't think it matters.

It would matter a lot to some prospective partners, who would simply have trouble accepting it - that’s their right of course.

And those prospective partners would be the ones to avoid anyway. Nobody else owns your body.

In particular avoid those who think it’s different rules for men!

There was no mention of gender in my post, so kindly don’t try to twist the very valid point I was making.

No, you didn’t mention gender. I did. My response was going beyond your point by making an equally valid one.

I was pointing out double standards between male and female.

And an individual’s past is nothing to do with anyone else. Everyone has a right for that to be private. Plus sometimes experience helps!

I think a person’s past is very relevant to prospective partners, of course it is - it’s much the same as buying a used car. but smart people buy them on condition, don’t they?

😂

So you are equating a woman (aka a female human being) with a used car?

Misogynistic beyond belief.

So that was the very point you were making from your subsequent replies.

I expect you're keeping yourself a virgin for marriage yes? Otherwise you're a galloping hypocrite.

I mean no woman wants a used dish rag of a man 🙄

The trouble with that attitude @Tristan5 is a prospective partner is unlikely to tell you about their previous sexual partners, would possibly lie if they did, and you have no way of knowing or checking anyway. So I'm not sure where that leaves you if it's important to you!

Think I’d probably fail my MOT on a dodgy suspension!

😁👍

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, why do you think it would?

Because you said it would?

Not at all, but once again, you’re choosing to twist the simple narrative - why do you persist with this behaviour, trying to moderate what others feel, think and say?

How very dare you cast misogynistic clouds in my direction when you have no clue who or what I am?

Well, OP , I suppose if you had been a nun since you were 18 it would be quite a lot….

But you are obviously thinking about it now so how you look at it really comes down to whether you enjoyed all the sex for its own sake or whether you were using it as an emotional crutch, which would possibly not lead to such fond memories

I don’t know who you are, l am purely commenting on your attitude reflected here. Comparing a woman to a used car is misogynistic.

I did not compare a woman to a used car, but you did - you chose to add your usual twisted spin.

And I resent being described as misogynistic!