Divorcing but sex?

[Lis667]

Me and my husband are in the middle of a divorce but living together for the foreseeable. I already know it’s not a good idea but it’s been 4 months so I’m questioning suggesting sex to him. I’m imagining other have done this during divorce, is it such a very bad awful idea? 😂

It’s a dreadful idea.

OP, why? This is going to make something very messy very, very messy!

Noooooo!

Bad idea it'll give mixed messages and get very messy and complicated

It can be tempting if the sex was good, but you would not look good if it got into the divorce papers.
After the divorce is another story;- if neither of you have anything better available! 😉

Don’t do it! It’ll complicate everything for both of you!

If you have legally separated I’m sure it voids it and you go back to the start, I’m in Scotland though so could be different

The worst idea I've heard all week; and it's only Wednesday!

Can someone spell out why it's a bad idea? Seems an ideal way to have a physical relationship without increasing the body count and with someone who doesn't have and STD and isn't a murderer. (Hopefully.)

Mixed messages for one and if OP is the one that began the divorce proceedings it may give her husband some false hope that the divorce will not go through if OP intends on still going through with the divorce. I know for certain if my boyfriend (I know not the same really but just an example) ended our relationship but still wanted to have sex with me it would mess with my head so much.

OK.

FWIW if that's all it is the OP should 100% go for it. (IMHO)

“…increasing bodycount”. Please no! Such a misogynistic term.

It's a term I've only ever heard from women, and I only mentioned it because I was guessing that might be a reason a woman might consider that would explain the universal "bad idea" vibes.

IME it's not something men talk about at all.

@NCForThatForumM - It’s all about double standards. From my experience it is something that certain obnoxious men boast (and perhaps lie) about, and it is the very same men who try to guilt trip women about.

FWIW I've rarely heard a guy comment on the actual number, more often individual personal successes and I've literally never heard a guy criticise a woman in those specific terms. I think women are far more critical of each other's body counts. (As I say I only know the terms "tally" and "body count" because I've heard them from women and I only mention it in this thread because I thought it might be a consideration for a woman.)

I played rugby for a lot of years with all the bants, socialising and bad behaviour that went along with that so I'm not at the woke end of the spectrum here.

So women can probably relax a bit, about it - men are far less likely to judge than women.

Being considerate to someone, even an ex, is behaviour we should all aspire to imo.

True, but I sense we have opposing views on what the considerate course of action is here. 😁

FWIW I did read a thread on another forum where men asked if a womans "body-count" mattered. They all said yes, and almost all said they would be put-off by a high number.

I agree. Better the devil you know (your way around and know where he's been).

If it's not emotionally upsetting for you and not going to make it harder to divorce (or stop the divorce) (unless that's a mutual desire) then I think just do it.

I agree with NCForThatForumM. No doubt there are some guys out there who think that way, particularly if you ask on the net. But in several decades of discussing this stuff with men in the boats, bars and beaches where they hang out I've yet to hear this kind of conversation, and most men I know would shut it down if they heard it.

It could go very wrong, by all means go back and have “bonus night” at some point if you really want though.