Finding a FWB

[NewAdventures2025]

This is for any women in their early 50s who have had or have a FWB. Not someone they knew beforehand.
Where did you meet them? I want to meet a man for something similar. There are a lot of sites for this kind of setup, which site worked better for you?

I guess it depends on what you are looking for

I tried to go down this route and was an absolute minefield of chancers and time wasters apps full of bots, After cash, in the end gave up went back to the old fashioned pub and just felt so out of place, Eventually met someone and again it turned out she was just after cash for her husbands drink and drug habit so gave up and going off travelling, Hopefully you fair better and good luck to you but be careful.

There a few out there but I’ve found ukfreedating meets my needs for that purpose x

The website I used is now defunct.

I will echo PP to say you really do need to weed through a whole load of rubbish to find someone compatible. And not in a relationship already.

I ended up with 2 guys off the site-1 for 4 years, 1 for 2 years. I also met several for a drink/walk. I met a few of those a second time for sex, but we didn't click.

There really is a heck of a lot of opportunity out there, so be selective.

@NewAdventures2025, there really is no alternative to kissing a lot of frogs I'd say.
Relaxed adult clubs are good for socials and possibilities....
Roughly, what area of U.K. are you looking?

By wading through a lot of dross on illicit encounters. I now have a lovely, local, regular partner who is in a similar situation to myself. FWB means different things to different people, though. Be clear and hold firm about how much of a friendship you expect.

Thank you for your replies.
@Angela59 I will check ukfreedating out, I had not heard of that one before.
I want to meet someone who I can see once, possibly twice a month. It sounds straightforward but from what others have said I know it will not be easy finding someone who wants the same as me. The friendship part is probably what will make it harder as I don't just want to meet up for sex. There has to be some kind of connection, but without all the expectations and stresses of a traditional relationship, such as building a future with each other.
@Maccar305 I'm in the North West. I don't know if I'll be comfortable going to adult clubs for socials. I was thinking more meeting for a drink somewhere first.
@MyBlueMentor good luck with your travels

Your very welcome, my “partner” (use inverted comers because we don’t live together ALL of the time) has no interest in penatrive sex
So the site suits my needs for a physical sex life.
Sounds very casual but I’ve been this way sexually since my marriage failed in my mid twenties, I get what I require and some friendship too.
I too need to connect.

NW .... pity...I'm SW otherwise I'd have happily made your acquaintance. @NewAdventures2025, would Feeld app work for you?

Can it be a FWB if you are both cheating? Surely that's a FB.

I will suggest the Feeld app too. People seem to be more open to loose relationships on there.

We are both carers for partners with physical and cognitive disabilities. Yes, we are having an affair, but if nobody knows nobody gets hurt and we both get a great deal of comfort and support that is otherwise lacking.

I'm not in my 50s but I know people on Feeld and apparently a woman in her 50s will get a lot of interest from men in their 30s and upwards for this sort of arrangement Op. so please don't think you need to bother with anyone who PMs you based on this post (I'm sure you've already had a few 😂).

Maybe just be as specific as possible about what the friends bit entails (as this will vary for everyone)

@GentlemanJay I think you are very naive if you think affairs are only FB/sex!

How can you do nice things as you would with a FWB. Day out. Theatre when you are both hiding it from your partners?

People do what they want to do

I don’t think it’s days out/theatre that society would have an issue with. Chances to go out are rare, but we take them!

@GentlemanJay In an ideal world a partner would provide everything needed but unfortunately all relationships are different.
There are many different reasons why people have "loose relationships".
As @Gymbunny2025 rightly said people do what they want to do. It isn't for a stranger on the internet,who doesn't know anything about them or their situation, to judge

I've said before that any dating app can be used to find people. Just be clear on your profile what you are looking for.

Wading through the dross to find gold, is, unfortunately, part of it.

Sites like Fabswingers & KillingKittens are ok, but if using FS, set block everybody, have a look around, and message people that take your fancy. KK can be expensive.

You'll always be better off chancing to meet the person in real life rather than going the online route. Because when you see someone in real life, you immediately know if you like them.

So get down the pub, or wherever. Ride the bus all day until you see someone nice. Get out there and get your antennae switched on full power. Put yourself in 'seek' mode. Those up for it will notice.

I think a lot of men and women are in the same situation unfortunately, online is soul destroying and going out and meeting people is probably even more difficult, I mean who realistically is going to meet someone with similar 'needs' in a pub or coffee shop, not exactly easy to strike up a conversation with a random stranger! Good luck OP, hope you find what you're looking for

Just like IRL, here online you meet the nicest people in the most unexpected places....as a M I've been PM'd surprisingly often, but I'm not offended....
Keep "putting yourself out there" online and IRL, and sooner or later there'll be a flicker...blow on it gently at first, be cautious, but open....

50s is a great time of life!

Good luck

IRL would be a nice way of meeting but at what point would you say " By the way don't suppose you'd fancy being my FWB".
At least online you can start with that and see what happens.

I agree that you need to wade through a lot of dross on Fab to find any decent guys.

I had more success on Killing Kittens. Rather than using it as a dating app, I got involved in group chats and vanilla social events. Made a group of friends of both sexes. Then my friends lent me their husbands or recommended guys who they thought I’d like. I much prefer meeting a man who is recommended to me as opposed to chancing it with a stranger on the internet.

Your friends lent you their husbands? In what way?

I'm intrigued!

In the way where she was having a night out and called me to ask if I’d like to entertain her husband while she was out. We watched a movie then fucked. She knocked on her own front door when she returned and called out “I’m home. Stop shagging!”

It’s nice having friends you can fuck. I highly recommend it.