Anyone been on IllicitEncounters?

[sexless777]

I decided to join it recently because I'm in a sexless marriage. I have noticed that the average age of men on the site seems to be around 55. There are very few under 40 and not that many under 50 from what I have seen. I've also had quite a lot of messages from pension-aged men in their 60s. I'm curious to see if anyone has had success on it? Is the site mostly for older 50+ folks (or younger women who like much older men)?

I tried it a few years ago, and struggled to find women my own age (40s).

It seemed to be younger women specifically after sugar daddies, or offering sex for money which wasn't what I was looking for.

A close friend was on it for the same reasons. There were time wasters and older men but she did have some very satisfying encounters, including a 30 something personal trainer who was in her words Olympian between the sheets. Obviously don’t go if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship, you’ll get casual sex and that’s it.

I am aware of IE and have not thankfully had a reason to go on it but your research of the demographic it interesting as I am in the middle of that.

From talking around my friend group (after reading mind the gap) I was very surprised how little sex some of them were having (also aware of the many reasons for that one clearly is the amount they do or don’t do at home)

It appears that it’s the age there partners pulled up the drawbridge and they were left with the choice of leaving their kids and the cost of divorce for the sake of sex. As they are so far on in their lives or have an affair or visit gentleman’s clubs.(it can sometimes be very clear who is who)

Think some of them are blissfully unaware that when the kids are gone they are going to leave them anyway and begin a post divorce sexual adventure. If MN is anything to go by .

Most if this were to happened before children or early into it imply they would have left which is why there possibly isn’t the younger stock on IE as they are on regular dating sites or have already left.

If you are young and in a sexless marriage and sex is important to you then life is too short and I’d look to leave but that’s easy to say and not easy to do!

I've been having an affair with a guy I met off ie for a couple of years now. Both early forties and no intention of leaving our marriages. Meet every 1-2 weeks.

I met a fwb on there. There is a lot of dross to sort through, though.

Maybe because their wives are menopausal and perhaps dont want sex
or after 30 years together there’re bored/ no longer fancy their wives
they can no longer go to pubs and clubs for a ONS
so use internet

younger guys might not have these problems

I've looked at it but didn't join, although as a guy in 40s maybe I'm at the younger end!

I was never sure it wasn't a scam, it's very expensive for a guy and gets terrible reviews!

Interesting that some people here have met people on it. Can't be entirely a scam then!

I wonder what the M/F ratio is though, Ithink woman will have the power on it!

What do you mean by all the power? I think men must outnumber women on all these things. And there will always be fake accounts etc. it's definitely real as I met someone off it. Neither of us can believe our luck in terms of attraction and chemistry! My only bugbear was the majority of profiles are centred around London. So if you're not SE it's slim pickings

"power" was probably the wrong word, but I meant that because men vastly outnumber woman, then woman can pick and choose a lot more than men

I know someone (friend of a friend) who has had a few fwb via IE.

There aren't many reasons why a woman looking for casual sex would specifically seek out a site full of unfaithful married men though! There are plenty of those on regular dating sites, along with plenty of single men who'd happily have discrete nsa sex.

I would try Feeld

This is what seems to be the issue. In my experience anyway. 24 years with my husband but I feel invisible to him. I still have a sex drive . He does not seem remotely interested. Don’t think he plays away but could never be one hundred percent sure.
I need to have some therapy first to get some confidence back and then I am going to review marriage. Interesting thread - thank you.

I have been on IE for 6 weeks and have had one meet up. I'm there because I've given up at home. Years of no sex and no chance of improvement.

We met in a coffee shop a couple of times then went to a hotel the third time. It was wonderful to feel desired again and it was three hours of bliss. Can't wait to do it again.

Great result @Namechangeunavoidable I bet you had a lot to get out of your system in those 3 hours! I was also lucky that the first person I met has turned into something fab! I did a lot of screening before then I guess

menotmeie yes my only wish is it was as often as yours. You seem to have hit the jackpot there for sure! X

To be fair when we started we agreed once a month. But there's no way we'd manage that anymore! Luckily we both have a free day that works well for us 😊

I can only hope that's the case for us in the longer term but he is needing to play it safe. Your IE sounds perfect for you x

How often is he proposing you meet up @Namechangeunavoidable ? Remember it has to work for both of you not just him!

I will pm you if that's OK?

Sure

The majority I have met there were only interested in one night stands (some laughingly promised they weren’t) but even so there has been some mind blowing sex and some longer affairs (2/3 months) as well.

Men pay a hefty amount to be on there- I assumed there would be much cheaper/free ways of looking for a ONS or brief fling! Thats what I liked about ie as I wanted a long term affair not casual sex

I have had some longer term ones there but many get off on raising their number of conquests as it were so will only keep an affair going until they start the next. I did wonder why one v good looking one with incredible bedroom skills was using the site but it was clearly to limit his chances of getting caught as he was married

My wife uses the site for the odd random one-night stand. Some good successes, but we had to wade through a lot of chancers.

Useful for some fun. We do like to push the ilicit affair angle. I'll drop her off for her "work" meeting with the guy. She thinks that this angle helps make the guys perform somewhat better. The idea that they are hooking up with her, right after her husband drops her off seems to add to the naughtiness.

I’m male mid 40’s and found woman of all ages on IE. However most only were up for online chats/voice notes and couldn’t actually meet up. Still found it a hot outlet though for both of us though!