Question for the young 40s folk

[Ploddingalongagain]

Are you guys still at it?
we’re a fit couple both 44 but having a 6 year drought…sex in the dark missionary is fine (like dark or dressed I haven’t seen boobs or a vagina in 6 years) but to be fair gotten a bit ‘routine’

I’ve asked to 69, naked massage etc but it’s not happening (been told should have tried all that when younger)

not here to slag my wife as I love the bones of her.

but are you guys still doing stuff like oral both ways, 69, naked massage etc etc?

Couples tend to either get kinkier with age or they get bored and stop trying new things.
You can rescue the situation but you'll need to excite her... gently...
When was the last time you made out like a couple of teenagers?
I'd suggest something like that rather than suggesting 69.
It'll be easier to handle being spontaneous and adventurous with the basic steps, don't push for anything more, just try to rediscover the essence of what excited you both years ago.
With time, the rest should come naturally.

Ask to take a bath together. Age should never be a factor

Just to clarify

“ I’ve asked to 69, naked massage etc but it’s not happening (been told should have tried all that when younger)”

Have neither of you done this before? If so I’d start a bit slower than this if as you imply she may have body confidence concerns.

There are loads of blogs,podcasts and books that may help you both but you both need to be on the same page. If she is happy with the current situation then that’s a bigger problem for you.

Lord.

There is nothing that I have stopped doing. Put it that way.

This sounds kind of sad OP and I think you need to approach this as a challenge and start getting some hot love back into your life.

In my 40s still do everything I would have done 20 years ago, probably abit more experimental and have a bit more fun with it these days to be honest.

Same as above but me n DH late 50s better now all kids have left home

Literally just turned 60 here and been through dry patches too, but what's the relationship like outside the bedroom?

IME, that's got to be good and two way before the sex, and to allow you both get into each other physically.

We've no kids at home and my sex drive is, at times, through the roof while my wife's not so much.

Relationship 80% outside the bedroom and 20% inside

This sounds miserable for you ,

My dh is 41 and I'm 37 and we love lots and lots of sex we've been together 9 years and tbh it's just gotten better and better

Interesting, my wife had a massive heart attack earlier this year and past away.
We had an active sex life into our 70’s, doing all the things we enjoyed in our early years. Foreplay was good and so was sex. We stopped being sports cars and became saloons, finding a position which we enjoyed and pleased us.

DH turned 70 I am 60+Still at it. 2 or 3 times a week.
I like my back and shoulders rubbed, maybe when in kitchen or any time around house. If I take him tea to his workshop if he isn't messy I get kisses and hugs.
They all score very highly as part of our physical life.

We began hitting our peak around your age. Stress of young children was over, we had more free time and sex (various activities) had become a shared hobby - which it still is. I can begin to see age making its presence felt, but our experience with each other means we will adapt as necessary.

We've had droughts like any couple but six years is not functional and requires a difficult discussion.

We are more experimental given the risk of getting oregano's gone and the young adults are often out. Six years is a long time if you're both not happy with it

I’m early 40s and rather than slowing down, I’m wanting to do more and try new things. My DH not so much! We do have great, very satisfying sex and I’m much more confident now than I was 10 years ago. I’m not afraid to ask for what I want.

I couldn’t imagine starting to shrink away from it all just because I’m over 40.