Same sex encounters

Olddad72 · 2024-11-11T14:42:02+00:00

My DW and I were discussing how much easier things are for young adults now regarding sexual relationships. Definitely if people are gay or bi. She then told me about a pivotal moment when she knew she was heterosexual. When she was in her early twenties she was at a party with a girl friend, drinks were drunk and the conversation came round to sex. The girl asked her if she'd like to "give it a try"with her. DW declined the offer. What surprised me is that is didn't in any way change the friendship, they remained friends for many years. If this had been a couple of men I suspect punches would have been thrown. I suppose the question is, is this much more common than my sheltered life would have me believe? I must admit I was quite shocked when she told me.

everywhichway · 11/11/2024 16:24

Well, I was asked like that about twenty years ago. Didn't mind at all.

Jessie1259 · 11/11/2024 16:34

I think some men would see it as a question/threat to their masculinity. They'd be embarrassed that someone thought they might be gay when they see themselves as the peak of male heterosexuality. Women don't have the whole toxic masculinity thing going on so wouldn't feel threatened by it in the same way.

RockingBeebo · 11/11/2024 21:32

I have two straight male friends who have had sexual encounters with their gay male friends - just to try it out. Both one off. I think it happens a lot more than men talk about. If you know many gay men - they are likely to have stories about encounters with straight men

StarlightLady · 12/11/2024 08:06

I’m right down the middle on Kinsey for those who know it. As someone who did not discover my bi side until my 30s (40s now), I’m not sure how much easier things really are today. There is more acceptance amongst some sections of the community, but other toxic things have crept in, including insults and violent attacks.

At school in my teens, we used to do what we called “kissing practice” with a group of girlfriends. This was allegedly to make us better kissers for the boys! I believed the reason back then.

l was propositioned (by a woman) in my 20s, said no and regret it immensely.

But there is still much prejudice out there. Plus there are some people (women and men) who assume every friendship is because you want to bed them.

MrsNotquiteAverage · 12/11/2024 11:24

I think it is more acceptable to be in a same sex relationship these days. Along with more acceptable to be in a casual or short term straight relationship, or even a ONS.
My first relationship with a woman came after a chat in a bar with girl friends from work and I said "I was done with men" after splitting up with a long term partner. Another woman said she had a Bi friend and would I like to meet her some time. It went well.

Original poster

Olddad72 · 15/11/2024 06:51

StarlightLady · 12/11/2024 08:06

I’m right down the middle on Kinsey for those who know it. As someone who did not discover my bi side until my 30s (40s now), I’m not sure how much easier things really are today. There is more acceptance amongst some sections of the community, but other toxic things have crept in, including insults and violent attacks.

At school in my teens, we used to do what we called “kissing practice” with a group of girlfriends. This was allegedly to make us better kissers for the boys! I believed the reason back then.

l was propositioned (by a woman) in my 20s, said no and regret it immensely.

But there is still much prejudice out there. Plus there are some people (women and men) who assume every friendship is because you want to bed them.

Every dad is a school day, I had to look up Kinsey. I would agree with the concept, I've read that during the the second world war with the shortage of men some women took comfort in eachother until their husbands returned. And as for boys boarding schools and mens prisons.......

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StarlightLady · 15/11/2024 07:30

I forget that not everyone is familiar with the Kinsey Scale, it’s probably more familiar with women in the know. More details and the test itself (it’s quick to do and should be based on an immediate reaction) can be found here:

https://www.idrlabs.com/kinsey-scale/test.php

and more detail (bordering on the scientific) about the origins here:

https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/publications/kinsey-scale.php

As l mentioned up thread, l come in right down the middle, that is consistent. On the other hand, l have a friend who does the test a few times a year and she waivers on the scale, maybe depending what is going on in her life at the time? The whole thing about whether female sexuality (l can’t speak for men) can be fluid is another issue. Personally l think the fluidity thing for some is true, but others will disagree.

On a lighter note the quiz can be quite fun on a girls’ night out with a few glasses of wine. We once did an anonymous version where the results were all dropped in a bag (no hat available 😀) and then they were read out. Nobody owned up as to which was theirs but it did cause a degree of wondering.

Kinsey Scale Test

This test will give you your results on the Kinsey scale.

https://www.idrlabs.com/kinsey-scale/test.php

Original poster

Olddad72 · 15/11/2024 13:39

StarlightLady · 15/11/2024 07:30

I forget that not everyone is familiar with the Kinsey Scale, it’s probably more familiar with women in the know. More details and the test itself (it’s quick to do and should be based on an immediate reaction) can be found here:

https://www.idrlabs.com/kinsey-scale/test.php

and more detail (bordering on the scientific) about the origins here:

https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/publications/kinsey-scale.php

As l mentioned up thread, l come in right down the middle, that is consistent. On the other hand, l have a friend who does the test a few times a year and she waivers on the scale, maybe depending what is going on in her life at the time? The whole thing about whether female sexuality (l can’t speak for men) can be fluid is another issue. Personally l think the fluidity thing for some is true, but others will disagree.

On a lighter note the quiz can be quite fun on a girls’ night out with a few glasses of wine. We once did an anonymous version where the results were all dropped in a bag (no hat available 😀) and then they were read out. Nobody owned up as to which was theirs but it did cause a degree of wondering.

Interesting, I just took the test and no surprise to myself I came as 1 . I can see how it would be a good laugh on a night out, I'd be trying to work out which answers fitted to the people joining in.

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Truthbetolddd · 12/12/2024 20:25

I class myself as straight for sure. But when in early twenties/late teens I had a few experiences of kissing girls and having my boobs felt by female friends. Most wild experience was falling asleep drunk at home with a friend who was also drunk and we was both naked and she touched me all over a few times and it felt nice but I stopped at us having full blown sex. Woke up the next day though and shrugged it off and never thought about it again really.

Stephy1886 · 13/12/2024 00:39

I’ve probably had more comments on my body in the showers / changing rooms in the gym than the outside world

it could offend some people but most have been genuine & i agree it would be easier to act on this with the same sex
in my experience

most of the time its OMG I love your boobs. Usually followed by me saying “ you can have them”

Original poster

Olddad72 · 16/12/2024 13:22

So I short, women don't make a drama about such things and men do.

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