Getting to the finish line.

[CantGetThere]

My DH and I have been married for 20 years, together for 22.

We've always had a fulfilling sex life. We enjoy each other immensely.

In the last 6 months or so my DH hasn't been able to orgasm. He gets horny and hard and almost there, but frustratingly (for both of us) doesn't orgasm.

He's overweight and had been on high BP medicine for about a year now, but a low dose. He doesn't smoke and has cut down on drinking alcohol. We're both actively trying to improve our fitness.

He's stopped masturbating completely (he used to do it alone and we often did it together) to check it's nothing to do with the refractory period changing as he ages (weeks away from being 50). He now says he doesn't think he could orgasm from masturbating either.

He's spoken to the GP today, who of course told him not to stop his BP medicine (which I agree with and support). He was offered talking therapy but we both agree this is something physical. DH says it feels different.

He could now have penetrative sex with me for ages but won't achieve anything pleasurable for him!

I/we've tried lots of things to get him there with no result. DH always makes sure I either enjoy myself and/or orgasm. (He gets a lot of pleasure from my orgasm). I get the same from his orgasm and it's making me feel a bit odd that he can't get there.

Both him and the GP assure me it's not me.

Any suggestions?

Is it the BP meds?

Is it age?

Sometimes there is just a mental block, could he be over concentrating on your pleasure? Maybe try you just pleasuring him with no expectations back? But do it subtly not making a thing about it, because if he thinks that is why then it may have the same effect.

He can't orgasm if he's alone and masturbating so it's a block that's there even without me.

BP meds can have all kinds of side effects depending on the.type and the person , he could ask for a different med as his next review , of course being fit , not drinking and not smoking is always a bonus as this itself with lower his BP

www.heart.org/en/health-topics/high-blood-pressure/changes-you-can-make-to-manage-high-blood-pressure/types-of-blood-pressure-medications

Try edging for a week OP.

@Mysticguru that's effectively what's happening for my DH.

He gets to the point of orgasm every time but the can't get there!

He's horny, he has no problem getting an erection he can't ejaculate.

I understand. But instead of trying to force the issue by continuing just drop it every time until his need to ejaculate increases IYSWIM.

I'm surprised the GP didn't want to check him out or refer to Urologist.

Absolutely no help from GP at all, other than a referral for sex therapy (talking).

I'll see if DH is up for trying edging.

Hi Op

Your probably aware the you have the reverse issue for many couples and that is all too common for guys unable to make their partners come as its widely known the orgasm gap is pretty much a one way.

I always think it’s interesting to hear from a women’s perspective on how this makes them feel as guys are often seen as to blame for lack of climax I partnered sex, that they are lacking skills or interest (selfish) in many cases it will be that but often it is just what it is and puts pressure on everyone.

Whilst still exploring any medical issues , has he tried using a Guybrator or other male focused sex toys Hot Octopus have a great range of toys designed specifically for men that don’t look like the ones that appear to give people the Ick on here (flesh light) and they have a good web site with lots of inclusive advice.

He could also try a really good quality wand vibrator (Magic wand) or even a pulse muscle massager they are powerful and not recommended as a sex toy (magic wand was not designed as one) but I can confirm that they do the job.

You can also like he sounds like he is doing and allow “pleasure to be the measure” and that like again for many women who don’t climax though PIV or climax at all in partnered sex that I nice time can be had by both parties without the focus being the spectacular ending.

Sorry the GP has not been great.

Best of luck

Could be the BP meds.. same happened with my DP

Would you consider prostate massage during masturbation? Not for everybody, but may help.

aged 55.
penis is a lot less sensitive post 50 than it used to be and it takes a loong time to finish - not possible PIV anymore.
just ageing and something to deal with , work around
no health issues - very fit , non smoker, eat healthily.

Age and medication definitely play a part as does psychology, the more he worries , the harder it becomes to achieve