I agree with @Joyfulincolour
Sex shouldn’t feel like a “must” but a “want”
Birth and trauma is perceptive and it’s completely understandable that the experience you had is now affecting your overall postpartum life.
Clitoral tears are pretty nasty (I’m a midwife and I refuse to suture one - that’s for the doctors!) However, I think it’s also the main component for pleasure! It has thousands of nerve endings. Clitoral tears are also common, as is any tearing in childbirth.
I would start just by getting used to “looking” at yourself again. You know what you looked like, what you enjoyed and how those things felt pre-baby. Gaining confidence independently is a great step to allowing you to regain confidence with sex. It’s okay to feel nervous and unsure but your partner sounds super supportive! It’s also important that you explore at a pace you’re comfortable with and also be okay with the idea that things may feel different and this is now a process of finding what is enjoyable again. Remember, sex is supposed to be fun!
I think, without going too far down the rabbit hole, it may even be worth seeking support with birth trauma and a birth reflections programme. Understanding what happened when we aren’t in childbirth can help improve our moods and feelings about our experience whilst also keeping in mind that your feelings are valid!
I had an elective c-section and I was still drastically struggling with postpartum experiences and sex, simply because my body just felt different. Couldn’t have my DP touch my chest, I felt embarrassed about my scar and the hormones all over the place causing insane dryness (and my DS didn’t even come out that way!) Lubrication is PARAMOUNT!!
Sending you lots of wishes!