Hair Pulling during sex - is this commonly liked?

[Joey699]

Just to preface, I’m male.

My female partner likes her hair being pulled slightly during sex, at first I noticed she was pulling it herself, then she encouraged me too do it & we talked about what she liked etc & it’s all good 👍🏼

I have asked why she likes it, but she cannot really explain other than it feels good, which is fine by me.

so I suppose my question ( to a female audience), is , is this quite common thing for women to enjoy, it’s my first partner ( not had that many) , who has asked for / enjoyed this
just to add, it’s not really a “pull” as such- just some general pulling pressure if that makes sense

No thank you. As PP said upthread, for me it’s in the slapping/choking/spitting camp. But if your DW likes it, my opinion doesn’t matter.

It can add an erotic dimension but should never be pulled from the scalp as that hurts

I disagree. Advice is usually to grab a handful of hair at the root because it hurts a lot less than pulling from the ends and you’re less likely to pull the hair out. I speak from experience.

Hurts more, hurts less, but why hurt someone (usually a woman) at all?

I think some people like it 🤷‍♀️

Not for me, but then I like stuff others don’t so, we’re just all different.

I think some people are told they like it. I didn't like my hair pulled at school so why should I as an adult?

I imagine people who are into BDSM are willing to endure rather more than a bit of hair pulling.....

I read an interesting article about masochism and why people seek out pain. Far too long to repeat verbatim here but the reasons were wide and varied and included:

• a need to atone for a perceived wrongdoing;
• a willingness to submit absolutely to another’s will;
• the high from the endorphins (akin to a runner’s high when their muscles are screaming);
• being sexually aroused by the feeling of pain and actually getting off on it;
• a show of strength and endurance.

I didn’t enjoy having my hair pulled in the playground either but, as an adult, I genuinely like it. Not because a man (or porn) has told me I should but because I enjoy the element of power exchange that comes with it. I find it amusing to be mischievous and bratty even when he grabs my hair and tells me to behave. It’s not about submission, it’s about defiance. I’m unbreakable, watch me prevail.

I think most people assume that anyone who lets another human physically hurt them must have low self esteem but, in my experience of s/m, that’s not the case. It’s a lot more complex than that.

I absolutely would not like it if it hurt even a bit!! That would feel like assault to me

But very gentle pulling feels nice rather than painful for me. I love my hair being brushed too. It's that kind of pressure