Is she cheating?

[Bucke316]

LONG POST

Hi everybody,

I am a Man looking for some advice.

Been with my partner nearly 8 years now.

Things have been very up and down in our relationship, and she has been unfaithful in the past.

Our sex life was always great in the past, but the last year or so- has been non existent.

In her defence, she has had many health issues including chronic back pain(which she had to have surgery for), but something doesn’t seem right.

For well over a year now, she keeps having these problems, in and around her private area.

First the doctors diagnosed her with a “Perianal abscess” which has been drained on countless times, and now she keeps getting these “Bartholin's cysts”.

Just always seems to have an issue in the area.

She has had swabs taken, which has always came back negative- but I’m not sure if she has been tested for an STI.

With her past history of being unfaithful, I really can’t help but think, she is up to something again.

With that said, her mobility is not great- so I struggle to see how she could be doing anything.

The sex has totally dried up, and she only seems to want to be intimate- when she is fertile.

What do you guys think?

Be totally and brutally honest.

How would anyone on here know?

Obviously they wouldn’t.

Just want peoples opinion.

But how would we have an opinion when we don't know?

How old is she?

Only wanting sex when she’s fertile is not unusual - it’s when your hormones tell you to go for it!

It’s probably the only time of the month where she wants sex enough to put up with the discomfort it may cause her because of her other issues, which don’t sound very pleasant by the way. I expect she’s not cheating and it’s you worrying about the possibility because she’s done it before.

If I had her issues, the last thing I would want is another man.

You could say that about literally ALL the threads on the relationship board.

What an absolutely ridiculous and pointless answer!

Just because its a guy asking for advice, it doesn't give you the right to be so bloody nonchalant!

DW had a bartholin cyst many years ago, found it very uncomfortable and painful, particularly if trying to have sex so unlikely if that’s the issue that’s she’s bothering with an affair

Sounds to me as though your wife has a really nasty set of medical problems and no wonder she has lost interest in any sex.

If she's got a perianal abscess and a Bartholins cyst I'd be surprised if she wants sex with anyone.

Perianal abscesses are absolutely awful and nothing to do with STIs. Mine turned out to be a fistula after multiple operations over a 15 year period. I was in constant pain, run down with reoccurring fevers, low energy and a very limited sex drive for months on end and long term depression. You genuinely don't seem very caring and supportive of her. I doubt she has the energy to do much, let alone have an affair. She's got serious complicated medical issues and you don't sound very supportive.

These two things have nothing to do with sex, do some research. They are also pretty common