My friend's comment has thrown me.

[Alittledilemma]

I've been FWB with A for over 2 years. It runs more like an open relationship than FWB, as we've met each others friends and family, we help each other with life admin and are open about deep life issues with each other. He lives a 2 hour drive away, so I stay at his at least once a fortnight. He rarely comes to mine, due to my children.

Things started with FWB when things ended with my ex boyfriend, B. B and I recently began hooking up again. I've seen him a few times over the last two months. Things feel more FWB than relationship with B.

I'm a teacher, and I'm going away with A for 4 days in half term. A now only takes his holidays from work during school holidays, so we can see each other. B is also a teacher, so we're going away for 2 days in half term.

My female friend is fully aware of these two men in my life. For the first time, she's been quite judgy. She's shocked I'm going away with both men during half term. She sees going away with someone as a sign of commitment. And feels I'm being unfair to both men. In principle I agree with her-going away with someone does feel more serious than FWB. What she's said has thrown me.

A and I have an agreement that we can see others, we just don't say. B has no clue A is in my life, and I think he'd be quite upset if he knew. I don't want to tell B about A. I love Bs company and we have a great giggle, so I don't want to tell him about A. But I refuse to ditch reliable and dependable A right now for the sake of offending B.

Ideally, I'd like to be back with B again in a relationship, but he's showing every sign he doesn't want that right now. But he may in the future. I'm happy taking what B's offering right now, but I'm worried he'll be upset if he finds out in the future I was seeing A whilst seeing him.

I'm posting on the sex board rather than relationships or aibu, as I feel you all understand the rainbow of relationship status' far better than the majority of MNs.

I'm not sure what I want from this post tbh. I guess I'm asking what you would say to your friend if they were going away with 2 different men in the same week?

If they both know they are FWB then neither of them have the right to be upset about anything. Also neither of them need to know about the other one.

If feelings are coming into it then that’s different.

Your “friend” is being a judgy ar$ehole. None of her business who you are $hagging tbh. You are all consenting adults and the agreement is FWB. If feelings are coming into it (which they might be) then that’s for you to consider your options. You owe neither of these sexual partners anything. That’s the whole point of FWB, have sex when you want, walk away when you want.

As someone who has been in a situation like this, leave it now. Nothing good will come of it. If B doesn’t want to rebuild his relationship with you now, likelyhood is that he won’t at all. I think you haven’t told B because you already know what his reaction would be.

This. I'd you're having sex with both of them they should know about each other

The blase tone of your post makes me feel though that you don’t actually understand the depths to which people can be hurt by actions like yours, that your moral bar is really low, and that you lack integrity. Sex to you is a casual thing, as it is for some people, but if that’s your attitude to sex, you’ve got to at least make sure you’re on the same page as the people you are having sex with. You don’t seem to understand the gravity of your actions, because if you did, you wouldn’t need to write this post, which seems more designed to evoke sympathy regarding your ‘judgemental friend’. The vast majority of people are not superficial enough to go on two romantic breaks with two different individuals in a pre planned short time period, it’s bizarre to most people. Your friend is in the majority.

I agree with @GentlemanJay and @RedHelenB