Not had any sex for 12yrs!

[protura24]

Been with my partner for 30yrs and married for 20yrs this yr. Since we got married I have had sex 8 times. When I mention this to my husband he gets angry with me, if I make any attempts at intimacy he tells me to “stop messing about” There is NO sex, NO intimacy of any kind, and if we kiss, it’s a quick peck. I feel so unloved and so unwanted. I know people on here will tell me to divorce him and I deserve better, but in my 60’s I don’t relish the prospect of starting over again. I need kind advice please.

My wife and I are both 77. We have not had sex, if you mean PIV, for a year or so she is now incontinent and her padded knicks are not exactly sexy

We cuddle every morning, we kiss often, sometimes a peck, sometimes a long passionate kiss.
I can't imagine life without cuddles.

That’s so sweet OldJohn

Everyone is entitled to a loving & physical relationship xxx

Just want to say i know how soul destroying your situation is. There are no easy answers. Difficult conversations, difficult outcomes, but don't let that stop you missing out on feeling what you need. Good luck.

Thank u Angela 59

Thank you Garrynotsogorilla

Been there, (but the other way around), done that, got the T-shirt.

I'm amazed that you have put up with this for so long. I had had enough after 10 years of a sexless marriage (which is what you are in!)

Do you want to spend the rest of your life in an intamacy-less, sexless, passionless marriage? I didn't.

I was late 50's when my ex & I split, and whilst it is daunting to start again, it's not impossible. There are plenty of single people our age looking for a relationship.

You could discuss an open marriage, but I suspect he will treat the idea with the same sort of disdain he is showing for you.

You could consider extra curricular activities - there are plenty of men looking for casual flings / FB,s / FWB's.

Or, rip the plaster off, leave him, and start living your life.

I couldn't be in a marriage without sex or in the least cuddles and intimacy I love being close to my dh even for a hand hold cuddles and cuddle in bed not your ages at the moment but I hope we will always have this I feel for you I would honestly try and leave

bless you, I am so sorry 💐 that is really hard and sad for you.

I understand, of course it would be daunting to go off trying to get married again. But maybe you should consider it.

Is it really no go at all with him? Would he let you cuddle up to him sometimes?

I mean, your choices are fairly simple, and I understand why it feels just so sad and lonely to keep on with no warmth. I'd say the options are:

• Have some regular massages - something where at least another person, male or female, in a non-sexual way, gives you some of their physical energy and touch to energise and soothe you. Even a facial treatment, a hand or foot massage, is nice and will make you feel better I think.

• Try to meet someone who would also be interested in maybe having some closeness sometimes, and just keep this to yourself.

• Try to find another partner and if it is good, sadly end this marriage and go to another.

• Just put up with it. This feels a very sad option.

• Oh, there's also have a kind of online relationship where you may not meet, but it still makes you feel happy. That's a pretty safe option but it isn't ultimately physical.

good luck, many people sympathise and understand xx